Where am I?

It's dark and I'm shivering my ass off, for some reason. I must have fallen asleep studying again. I realize I'm laying in dirt and can see a sliver of the moon and a few dim stars. Okay, I must have fallen asleep outside. Did I get drunk? I'm definitely naked, so I probably got drunk. But if I did, I don't remember going to a party or buying booze. I should probably get up and find my clothes before the campus police see me like this.

I go to rub my eyes and I DON'T HAVE FINGERS! What the hell?! What happened to my hands?! What kind of engineer can I be without fingers? I quickly stand up, only to find myself falling over backwards. That actually hurt way less than I expected. I try to slow down and stop freaking out, which doesn’t work. I look down at myself and realize I have fur, a tail, and a really big...

I'm dreaming that I'm a pony! That has to be it. I really should stop reading on Fimfiction before bed. I just need to slap myself and wake up. I use my new hooves to smack my face as hard as I can and motherfucker that hurt! There's a loud ringing sound and I definitely heard something crack. There's a cool wetness on my upper lip and I taste iron.

Does that mean I'm not dreaming? What in the world happened, then? I stand up slowly, and on all fours this time. I'm still a bit dazed because of what might have happened to me and because of this broken nose. Snout? Whatever.

After wiping most of the blood off my face, I reach my hand hoof up to my forehead and then look to my back.

Oh, come on! If I had to become a pony, whether this is some freaky ultra realistic dream or not, why did I have to be an earth pony? Honestly, what's the point? I would’ve preferred staying a human. On more than a couple of occasions, I may have thought it would be cool to live in Equestria (which I assume is where I am) as a unicorn or pegasus. But I'd rather just live with ponies as a human, than be like this!

A little annoyed, I try to walk. After stumbling a bit, I get the hang of it.

I realize I'm in some big ditch. I have no idea how big a foot is, now that I'm a pony, but the ditch is about four times as long as my body and as deep as twice my height. It's shallow enough to climb out of without too much difficulty.

Once I'm on flat ground, I look around and see a cluster of orange-yellow lights shimmering in the distance. It looks like the mirage of a city. I hope it's inhabited by ponies or some other friendly species; I really don't want to become barbeque for the citizens of some dragon settlement.

There's a thin layer of snow covering the ground in every direction I see, but the ground in this ditch is clear, for some reason. This'll make it a little more difficult to get to the city, but I need to find civilization or I probably won't last more than a day in this cold.

Not wanting to seem suspicious when I arrive there, I decide to come up with a more pony-sounding name. I have no idea what kind of name would be good, considering I don't know if I have a special talent, but I guess it doesn't matter that much. I look around for inspiration and only see the dirt and the stars. It reminds me of a character from a Greek myth I heard whose name might work.

I leave the ditch and begin my trek toward the shimmering city when I hear a fluttering sound and feel a rush of wind. Then a pegasus swoops down in front of me and quickly moves a spear less than an inch from my neck. My heart pounds and I feel more blood gush from my nostrils.

Based on the pegasus' muzzle and height, I think it's a mare. She’s about a head shorter than me and has metal armor on. The armor and spear make sure her stature doesn't take away from her intimidating factor. I feel like she could and, more importantly, would kill me if I make one wrong move. Her mane appears to be a pale blue, and her coat is either dark blue or black. It's hard to tell in this light.

I can partly make out her face. Her eyes are locked on mine with a hard gaze that makes me freeze up. We're both very aware of the danger I'm in.

“Who are you?” she snaps, making her spear shift more than I care for.

Definitely a mare's voice. Cool. I always wondered if Celestia had mares and stallions in the Royal Guard. They all look the same in the show.

The guard mare continues before I get the chance to respond. “Were you sent to spy on us?”

“No!” I try to respond quickly before she cuts my throat. “I'm not a spy. I'm unarmed and defenseless. So is there any way you'd lower that spear?”

She pulls back slightly, but keeps it pointed at me. It’s better, but I'm not sure she won't try to kill me in a minute. What I don't get is why she thinks I'm a threat. I don't have magic or weapons to attack with, and I don't have the wings to escape her. Also, what would I be spying on? We're both ponies.

“I won’t kill you unless you give me a reason to. Now tell me who you are," the pegasus mare demands.

“Astraeus,” I reply, praying that my name sounds believable.

“Is that your full name?” she asks skeptically.

I give a sharp nod.

“I haven’t heard that name before, but I don’t know everypony in your tribe, Astraeus. You might be telling the truth.” She relaxes slightly and looks amused for some reason. “Also, it’s kind of interesting to meet somepony else with a one-word name; they’re not that common.”

Thank God she believed me. And not being able to think of a second name looks like it's helped me win points with this mare. “Well, now that we've relaxed, would you mind telling me your name, Miss…?”

She straightens and moves her spear away from my face to hold it vertically. It looks like some kind of guard stance. The pegasus simply replies, “Luna.”

I'm stunned. It can't be that Luna. The moon-raising, star-painting, goddess-ruler-of-Equestria Princess Luna? This mare is smaller than me and doesn't even have a horn. I quickly move forward to close the distance between us. I have to get a better look at her and find out if…

All at once, I realize two things. One familiar, and one different. I once again have the spear point at my neck. But this time, I'm on the ground, belly up, and this hornless Luna is standing above me. If she were a cute human girl, and there was less almost dying involved, the situation might be fun. But right now, the desire to keep my nose the only broken part of my body overpowers any less-than-pure thoughts.

“Make another move like that, and it’ll be the last thing you do,” pegasus Luna growls. But then her features quickly shift to worry and she asks me something about my muzzle.

I don't hear her. My gaze is fixed on her face. This is definitely Princess Luna. She must have used some kind of magic to hide her horn and change her mane and tail to look like a normal pony's. She actually looks like Luna after Nightmare Moon was destroyed by the Elements.

I'm probably accidentally trespassing or something. That's why she thought I was a spy. Princess Luna, being the princess of the night, must’ve known I was here and come to stop me if I was a threat. It doesn't look like she knows I'm a human though, so who would I be spying for? The changelings? That must be it!

I turn myself right-side-up, but keep my body pressed against the snow in prostration. I don't want to break formality and insult her. Even if she doesn't kill me, I really don't want to piss off the second most powerful pony in the world.

“Your Highness, it's an honor to meet you. I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you. Please, forgive me. I mean you no disrespect or harm, and seek your help, if you'll grant it.”

Before responding, the disguised Princess snorts either in amusement or anger for some reason. “I know I’m not a high ranking officer, but I can still apprehend you myself if I have to. Or do something worse… Got it?”

I gulp and then manage a “Y-yes.”

What was that? Maybe Luna doesn't want me to talk about her being a princess while she's disguised. It could blow her cover if she wants to keep up the act. But if she was willing to tell me who she was, why would she need the disguise? Are we somewhere dangerous right now?

Before I can figure out what’s going on, Luna frowns and announces in a commanding voice, “I’m going to bring you to a pony who can tell me who you really are. I can’t let you go free until then.” Then, with a softer tone, she adds, “She can also heal your muzzle, if she chooses to.”

I decide to focus on what the Princess just said and then ask her about the disguise once she warms up to me. “Who is this mystery pony, Luna?”

The mare lets out a small laugh. “No one mysterious. Celestia’s a mage you, and most likely everypony of all three tribes, have at least heard of.”

“Oh, well why didn't you just say you were taking me to your sister? She might be able to…”

All of a sudden, Luna tackles me to the ground. One of her hooves holds the spear’s sharp point against my neck. I feel it press against my new fur and skin, threatening to draw blood if either of us moves the wrong way. My nose throbs in time with my quickening heartbeat.

“Who told you about my sister?” Luna snaps while keeping her voice low.

“What are you talking about?” Something's definitely wrong with the Night Princess.

“No one alive, except for the current archmage and her predecessor, is supposed to know about me and Celestia! It could get us exiled or executed. We’d be tried for treason and there’s no way the archmage could protect us from that!”

She says the words with an intense certainty and fear in her eyes. I don't think this is all for a disguise anymore. Luna is genuinely scared, and I have no idea why. She should be powerful enough to destroy any non season opener or finale type threat by herself. But what if she's not Princess Luna somehow?

I speak so quietly that only the dark blue pegasus can hear, “Luna, I swear not to tell anyone about you and Celestia,” knowing that her not believing me could easily mean death. “But I have to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me. Who are you?”

She relaxes slightly but doesn't move the spear. “You already know my name. I’m just a low ranking soldier for the pegasus military, who usually serves as a messenger. And I have no family except my sister,” she whispers. “Something I keep secret for obvious reasons. Why do you care?”

Pegasus military? Wait, she mentioned tribes before. What if… “Does the word, ‘Equestria,’ mean anything to you?”

With an annoyed frown, Luna says, “No. And stop stalling. You're just trying to distract me.” She tightens her grip on the spear. “Now answer my question, Astraeus! How do you know about my sister?”

What's going on? Is this not the MLP universe? Did I get sent to a time period before Luna became an alicorn, or is this some kind of alternate dimension? I have to figure this out, but first I have more important things to deal with. Namely, convincing the non-princess Luna not to kill me.

I feel the spear tip shift against my throat and I try to think of something fast. If the princesses being sisters isn't common knowledge, why would I know? “Visions!” I blurt out. “I get visions of certain events. They give me information I wouldn't know otherwise. It's my special talent.” What am I thinking? “I saw you and Celestia together playing as foals and I sensed that you two were sisters.” If she believed my name, maybe she'll believe this.

“You're lying.” Fuck! “You think you're the first pony who’s claimed they have some kind of spiritual knowledge? But every time, they fail to prove that their gift is real. You could probably convince Celestia with that lie, but I won’t believe something just because somepony claims it’s divine like my sister would.” I really shouldn't have gone with ‘visions of the future’ as my explanation. “But it doesn’t matter; once she probes your mind, I’ll know exactly what you’re hiding.”

“Wait, she's going to read my mind?” I say worriedly. So much for Celestia believing my lie.

“That is how potential spies are dealt with by unicorns,” Luna replies, as though it's something a child should know. “Unless, you prefer the pegasus method…” Her tone, along with hearing about human torture methods, tells me all I need to know about the non-magic way of getting information. “Really, you should consider yourself lucky that I found you. Nopony else on patrol would be able to get you to see Celestia or the archmage.

“No no, mind reading, love it!” She keeps separating unicorns and pegasi. She mentioned three tribes… What if this is during the times before Equestria's founding from that Hearth’s Warming play episode? “I just need to ask you one more question. Do you know the name, ‘Clover the Clever?’”

Luna looks annoyed. “If you’re here to gather information on my people, you should really become a better actor. You ask stupid questions, and then you know things you shouldn’t. But if it will shut you up, yes, I know her. She’s the archmage, my sister's teacher… and also somepony I owe a lot to.” Luna adds that last part almost to herself.

So I was right; I traveled to ancient Equestria! This is amazing, and also terrifying! Isn't this supposed to be during the time of a famine? Does that mean windigos are causing this snow, or is it just normal winter right now?

Luna continues, snapping me out of my thoughts. “But that’s enough stalling; we have to start heading to the unicorns’ castle. It’s a good distance away, and I need to return to my post before sunrise.”

She removes her spear, allowing me to stand upright. I realize this is probably the best situation for me. Clover the Clever and Celestia can probably easily send me home. Even if my guess is right and Celestia’s just a unicorn, she should still be powerful. Luna said Clover was the archmage, and Celestia was her student. The two of them probably know more about magic than anyone else. Except maybe Discord and any other freaky magic spirits, but I probably shouldn’t ask them to send me home. Getting the unicorns to believe me won't be an issue because they'll just read my mind. I could be back home tonight!

“Okay Luna, let's go visit the unicorns,” I reply cheerily. She looks at me suspiciously and then flaps her wings slowly to hover behind me. Luna motions for me to start walking as she keeps her spear at the ready. She thinks I'm planning something, I realize. She's not wrong, but it's just to get Celestia to send me home; nothing like spying.

Once we start heading toward the castle, what I thought was a city, Luna starts talking again. “Now that you’re out of questions, tell me how you flew so high, earth pony. And if you're lying, I’ll find out eventually.”

“What do you mean, ‘flew?’” I ask.

“I saw you fall when I was mapping the night sky,” Luna answers, almost sounding embarrassed for some reason. “I actually came because I thought you were a fallen star.”

“Are you saying I fell from the sky?” I don’t remember feeling an impact before I woke up, but whatever magic brought me to this world must have been able to cushion a fall and knock me out.

“Unless you ran into this crater immediately after the impact, I’m positive. I got here right after the explosion and saw you unconscious. I would’ve assumed you were dead if you didn’t wake up right after I arrived.”

“Crater?” I look back at the ditch I woke up in and my eyes widen. I guess that explains why there wasn't any snow in it.

Luna just looks at my expression curiously. “Did you actually not realize what happened?” Worry replaces the smallest fraction of her suspicion. “Or maybe you hit yourself too hard when you first woke up.”

I don't know what to say, so I continue walking to our destination with Luna following closely behind. I wrestle with what to tell her and she remains silent, waiting for me.

I do need Celestia and Clover the Clever's help to get home, so I'll have to tell them who I am. I might as well tell Luna the truth too. But I really should avoid impacting this world as much as possible. Even if I'll be leaving it soon, I don't want to do something that ruins this world's future, like stopping Luna and Celestia from becoming Princesses.

I decide that if Celestia finds out who I am from reading my thoughts, she'll probably tell Luna anyway. “Okay, I'll come clean.”

“So you admit you were sent to spy on the pegasi!” Luna accuses as she quickly moves to hover in front of me. “Did the unicorns help you fly in the air?!”

“What? No!” I quickly respond before she can tackle me to the ground again. “But I was lying about how I knew Celestia was your sister.” I take a deep nervous breath and stare at my new forehooves. “The truth is, I'm from a different world and you found me when I first became a pony. I don't know how it happened, but in my world there are…” How do I explain this? “records of you and your sister, along with a few events in your futures. That's how I knew who Clover the Clever was without knowing she was the archmage.”

She finally knows. I look up at Luna to gauge her reaction. It's probably almost as much for her to take in as it is for me.

She sighs and looks disappointed. “I really thought you’d be done lying. It would have made our journey much nicer.”

“No! It's the truth, I swear! Once Celestia reads my mind, she can vouch for me.” Damn, I thought she'd believe me. But I guess I wouldn't believe me either if I were her.

“It’s okay. I understand the need to keep secrets more than most ponies, and I don’t consider you evil for doing what you have to,” Luna says solemnly. “I’ll let Celestia judge your honesty, but until then, I won’t believe you without proof.”

“I knew about Celestia and fell from the sky,” I demand. “What more proof do you want?”

“That just tells me you learned one secret and probably hired a unicorn or pegasus to help you fly,” she responds cooly. “The fact that you survived the fall probably means you were helped by some kind of magic, but that doesn’t mean you came from another world. Especially one where, somehow, my future and secrets are on display. I haven’t seen anything that proves somepony’s destiny is sealed, aside from cutie marks, and those don’t force us to do anything. But the impossible visions you say you have is… time travel magic!”

The way Luna said ‘time travel magic' made it seem like she hates the idea, even though she thinks it’s not possible. I figure it's a bad idea to correct her, more for my personal safety than because it could ruin her timeline. But I do make a mental note to ask Celestia what that was all about when I meet her.

Our journey continues in silence after that. Luna now flies next me, and I occasionally sneak glances at her mostly to confirm that I haven't dreamt all of this up.

I notice her strange armor. It looks like iron with a matte finish, probably to go with her coat and cutie mark. It almost makes her look like an adorable Nightmare Moon with how small she is. The armor also seems to be lined with cloth that sticks out at the joints.

Luna catches me staring and glares down at me. “Don’t think about trying anything. Remember which one of us has the bigger spear.”

“I-I was just wondering why there was so much cloth in your armor,” I stammer. I'm a little taken aback by her implication and the innuendo in her threat, especially since they were coming from a pony princess of a children's TV show.

Luna turns away quickly and doesn’t meet my gaze when she responds. “The cloth is to help keep me warm.” If it weren't nighttime, I bet I would see her blushing. “Sorry for my suggestion… I assumed the worst.”

At least she believed me that time. She might not be a princess yet, but I really don't want her to blast me with magic the moment she ascends because she thought I was trying to get in her pants under her tail.

“No problem,” I reply casually. Trying to move to a lighter subject, “And I understand needing to keep this cold away, it's freezing.” As if thinking about it made my internal temperature drop, I let out an involuntary shiver.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Astraeus!” Luna says quickly as she lands and reaches into her saddlebags. “You might be my captive, but I should’ve made sure you were in a good enough condition to walk before we started.” She hands me a large, black bundle of fabric and a single unadorned pin attached to a horseshoe shaped piece of metal. I take the fabric in my mouth and try to figure out how to get it on my back. “Sorry I don’t have any food for you, but I’m sure Celestia will feed you when we get to the castle.”

I nod once as I try to use my hooves to put on what I now realize is a hooded cloak. It keeps falling to the ground and Luna just stares as she continues to hold the pin for me.

“You really listened to my advice about being a more convincing spy. You look like a foal, or a unicorn forced to use their mouth and hooves.”

I don't argue, and Luna goes along with what she still seems to think is an act. She takes the cloth in her mouth and throws it over my back. She then clasps it shut with her mouth and hooves. When she's done bringing the hood down, Luna realizes her face less than a hoof's length from mine. She quickly pulls away and pretends to look at the unicorn castle, which is now clearly visible.

“Thanks, Luna.” I smile at her, trying to help her relax. “It's really warm.” The cloak is thick and made of wool, which does a great job of keeping the wind and cold away.

“Of course. Sorry for not offering it sooner.” Luna turns around to look at me and then lets out a small laugh. I think this is the first time I’ve seen her smile. She looks nice when she’s not accusing me of crimes I didn’t commit.

“What is it?” I look around to try and see what’s so funny.

“My cloak is way too small for an earth pony stallion your size. You should probably take it off before we get to the gates if you don’t want to look silly.” She looks off in thought for a moment. “And keeping your face uncovered might help us get into the castle…”

“What do you mean?” I ask in confusion.

“I’ll tell you on the way!” She says with a grin. And just like that, we're on the move again. As Luna hovers next to me and explains her plan, I feel like even if she doesn't trust me at all, she seems to want to kill me a lot less than before. I consider that progress!

During our hike through the snow, Luna would occasionally go to scout up ahead, presumably for some kind of danger. Whenever she went, I was never out of her sight for more than half a minute. At this point, Celestia is my only hope to get Luna to trust me.

We finally arrive at the long grey stone bridge that leads to the unicorns’ mountaintop castle. There’s a good amount of light cast by dozens of ornate torches spaced evenly on both sides of the bridge. The torches let me see that my fur is a color somewhere in between brown and orange. I’m not sure how I should feel about being the color of pumpkin pie, but after walking on four legs for the past half hour, this doesn’t faze me that much.

There’s a pair of guards at this end of the bridge, but they let us through without any questions. Earlier, Luna told me we’d get questioned at the castle’s entrance; apparently the bridge guards are mostly there for show, and to keep ponies from escaping if need be.

As I walk across the bridge with Luna hovering beside me, she begins to talk for the first time since the guards came into view. “The doors up ahead are the only entrance to the castle by both land and air. There are no passages or steps at the base of the mountain, and all the windows are either too small for pegasi to fit through or have bars hammered into the stone to block us. So trying to escape is pretty much useless.”

I stare at the imposing structure before us. I didn't realize how tall it was when we were walking before. I can see orange-yellow lights dancing from almost all the windows. “Isn't it dangerous to just have one entrance and exit if there's a seige or something?”

“Not for a race that can teleport,” Luna says matter-of-factly.

“And why are you making it sound like the unicorns think there could be an attack from one of the other tribes?”

“Could be?” Luna laughs. “There have been tons of attacks by each of the tribes on the others at some point or another. Did your parents not teach you our history? The reasons for the fighting vary but it’s always the same in the end: there’s some small change for a while and then things return to normal.”

“Why don't the changes ever stick? Shouldn't war have a serious impact on your society?”

“Our society,” Luna corrects with an annoyed eye roll. “Each tribe has to do their part for our survival, so the status quo can’t change much. We need each other, but we refuse to admit it. We fight and hate, and things just worsen year after year.” I can hear a deep sadness in Luna's voice. “I'm sorry for going on like this. It's just… talking about this stuff with you feels sort of relaxing. Even if it's only because of your possibly fake ignorance.” Luna smirks slightly at her last words.

“It's interesting to learn about this stuff. Really, thanks for teaching me. And soon you'll see that my ignorance is very real,” I say casually. After a short pause, I shift back to our more serious subject. “It doesn't seem like you believe the tribes should be at odds all the time. If you feel that way, there must be others…”

I'm cut off as Luna hushes me and speaks in a low whisper which I strain to hear. “I’m different; you already know why. Now shut up and let me do the talking; we're almost at the entrance. Just remember the plan.”

We draw closer to a pair of large wooden doors that form a massive arched entryway, easily large enough for five ponies to walk through at once. Each of the doors has a round brass knob as big as my head in the center. There's no way I'd be able to reach up to those, let alone turn them.

I hang back and trail Luna as she lands on the ground and walks up to the two unicorn guards who flank the doors. They glare at her and the larger of the two, a muscular green mare, asks, “What business does a pegasi messenger and a common earth pony have at this late hour?”

Luna manages to adopt a very convincing meek tone that I didn't know was possible for her. “Please let us into the castle. I was on patrol with my squad when we saved this stallion from a timberwolf this afternoon. He has a broken muzzle and I saw him coughing up blood a few times. We sent one of our best fliers to ask the Archmage's apprentice if she would heal him and she agreed. I was ordered to get him here safely, but he hasn't been able to walk very fast.”

The large green mare who spoke earlier responds first. “I haven't received any orders about an injured earth pony, and it's late, filly. If he could survive this long, he can wait until morning. Then we can ask Clover the Clever about all this.”

I fake a cough into my hoof and the unicorn guards notice it's stained with blood. Luna’s master plan was to have me wipe the blood from my nose onto it and worry the guards. I don't think it'll work until the younger unicorn, a scrawny, rust colored stallion, starts speaking. “I think we should let them in, Emerald Shield. This stallion looks pretty bad.”

“No.” The guard mare seems to shift around nervously. “We have to at least-”

“I heard the Archmage is really protective of her apprentice,” Luna interjects quickly. “Celestia might be mad if this poor pony dies on your bridge when she could have easily healed him.”

“Are you threatening me, pegasus?” Emerald Shield almost spits the word, ‘pegasus.’

“Of course not, ma’am!” Luna acts completely surprised and innocent. “But from one guard to another, I would hate to see you two get in trouble with your commander for stopping her apprentice from doing her job. I know how bad COs can be.” Luna leans in and whispers, “Not to mention what might happen if the former archmage finds out you two upset his ward. I hear he used one of his transformation spells on a stallion who accidentally made him spill his drink once.”

I don't know who this former archmage is, but he doesn't sound like someone I want to piss off. Although, if that pony is as powerful as Luna’s suggesting, then I should probably try getting his help to send me home.

The stallion looks at his larger comrade pleadingly. Emerald Shield begins to look worried herself and responds, “Uh-umm… You two look like good enough ponies, and we wouldn't want to upset Celestia if she's expecting you.”

The smaller unicorn sighs in relief and I release the breath I was holding. I thought we were going to get thrown over the bridge for Luna's threat. She probably would’ve survived, but I don’t exactly have wings.

“Thank you so much.” Luna beams up at the bigger guard. “I'll make sure the Archmage's apprentice knows how much you two helped us.” Luna hands the stallion her spear and gives him a smile.

The unicorns both nod their heads in thanks. They then light up their horns and the giant knobs begin to glow then rotate. The castle doors then swing slowly inward. I’m not sure how much magic is needed to move those things, but it seems like a lot, considering how heavy they must be.

We both enter the castle at a slow pace and pass through a huge room made of large grey stones that look like they were perfectly cut to fit each other. The room is filled with tables, and there are a few unicorns sitting at benches around a fireplace. They don't seem to care about us. Apparently, no one worries about ponies that have gotten inside the castle, even if they're not unicorns.

Luna told me to keep up the seriously-injured act until we got past the guards, so I keep my head down and try to walk with a slight limp.

We go through a door at the right side of the room and head down a long corridor. I turn to Luna and get a good look at her, now that we're somewhere well lit.

Ignoring her usual frown and my previously constant fear of becoming an unwilling blood donor because of her spear, she actually looks pretty young; like season one Twilight young. I can only really see her head because of the black metal and cloth armor she wears, but she looks a lot like some of the cute fan-art I've seen of her, without the horn and the flowing night sky mane of course. Although there's something about her eyes that I never saw in the show: they're so serious. I can see them tracking every inch of the castle. I can't tell if she's paranoid, looking for something, or just thinks this place is dangerous.

I'm broken out of my thoughts when she announces. “I always hate these hallways.”

I look around at the regal looking hall we're walking down. It's made of the same large grey stones the rest of the castle is. On the walls, there are golden-framed paintings of unicorns dressed in what I assume are fancy clothes. The ceilings have ornate chandeliers hanging at regular intervals, each with half a dozen candles burning. There are a few wooden tables with textured silver plates and decorative pitchers on them. And almost everything has tiny gems of every color set in them, which makes the entire hallway sparkle when the candles flicker. The whole area has a really nice atmosphere, so I can't understand Luna's issue with the halls.

“What's wrong with it? This place looks amazing,” I say.

Luna rolls her eyes and turns to look at me. “You see the chandeliers, Astraeus?” I nod. “Well, I doubt you've ever thought about it, but can you imagine being a pegasus trying to fly here? The ceiling is easily high enough for it, but all of these glorified candle holders make flying really dangerous.”

I realize that this is the first time Luna's walked more than a few steps our whole journey. “But aren't they sort of necessary for lighting up the place?”

“Oh, please, the pegasi accomplish the same thing with a few torches lining the walls, and that leaves plenty of room to fly. The bone-heads just like doing everything in the most extravagant way possible to show the other tribes how superior they are.” I feel like if any unicorns were within earshot, Luna would have just offended them. Luckily, we haven't seen any after that first room.

“What about your sister?” I counter softly as we turn a corner and begin climbing up a wide spiral staircase.

Luna winces slightly as her ears fold back against her head. “Celestia doesn't feel that way about either of our tribes… She tells me our mother didn’t either,” Luna finishes somberly.

Her words hang in the air as we continue to ascend. Luna mentioned earlier that Celestia was her only family. I want to ask her about it, but just as I’m about to, we reach the top of what the occasional window suggests is a tower.

Luna motions for me to hang back as she knocks on the large decorated wood and metal door. After a short period of silence, Luna knocks much harder. Then I hear a distant bang beyond the door followed by the sound of hooves on stone, something I’ve been listening to ever since Luna and I entered the castle.

After a bit of waiting, a light-yellow glow surrounds the door and it swings inward to reveal a white unicorn mare with a disheveled light pink mane and eyes that are barely open. She’s about as tall as I am and has the body type of Fleur de Lis from the show. While she might not have wings or a rainbow of pastels for a mane, I can tell this is Princess Celestia, sole ruler of Equestria for a thousand years. Or at least she will be eventually. Just like with Luna, this Celestia looks more like she did in the book from episode one.

I’m a bit awestruck to be in front of her. Even if all her deeds are from a children’s show, I’m in that fictional world now, so they have to count for something right?

Meeting Luna was… interesting, but I can't wait to see what kind of person- pony Celestia is. Someone who gets to where she’ll be in life must start out with some serious natural charisma or political ideas. Maybe she's a revolutionary who's going to overthrow the oppressive unicorn kingdom and lead a revolt of earth ponies to bring equality to everypony!

I’m pulled away from my thoughts of grand coup d'etats as Celestia lets out a loud yawn and begins speaking. “Hello Lu… –” Celestia notices me and her eyes quickly widen “– lovely night it is,” she says with a forced smile. “What can I do for you two ponies?”

I give a polite smile to Celestia but decide to let Luna introduce us. But instead of doing that or greeting her sister, the dark blue Pegasus tersely states, “I need a favor,” and then passes through the doorway without even saying hello.

Celestia frowns briefly but then adopts a friendlier expression and gestures for me enter with a forehoof. I follow Luna and offer a “thank you” to Celestia.

The semicircular room we enter looks like a mix between a living room and an alchemist’s lab. A small staircase along the back wall, and a door to my left lead to other sections of the tower. There are three comfortable-looking cushions arranged in a semicircle around a fireplace: one white, one a pale yellow, and one a bright pink.

Several tables around the room have books, metal instruments, crystals, and papers scattered haphazardly on them. I notice that many of the papers have formulas, diagrams of animals, and weird-looking circles inscribed with geometric shapes drawn on them.

Celestia closes the door and turns to face us almost nervously. That feels strange for Princess Celestia, at least what I know about her from the show.

At first, I think the lack of any kind of embrace or familial recognition from Luna is just to keep her secret from anyone who might be spying on us. But once we’re alone inside, Luna's demeanor doesn't change. Instead, she announces, “He knows who we are, sister.”

Celestia's eyes widen in surprise as she turns to me. “Luna must really trust you. May I ask who you are, stranger?” Celestia says with a sly smile. “My sister tells me so little of her personal life… and her relationships.” The white unicorn smirks at that last comment.

Before I can introduce myself and explain, Luna interjects. “Who he is is exactly what I want to know. This stallion fell out of the sky unharmed, save for his self-inflicted broken muzzle. And…”

Before Luna can continue, Celestia rushes towards me, our faces almost touching. “Why didn’t you tell me he was hurt right away, Luna?” Celestia demands. “Your questions can wait.” She looks at me intently and her horn begins to glow a sunny yellow. “Stay very still,” she requests in a much gentler voice than she was using before.

The area around my nose glows the same color as Celestia’s horn. I feel a tingling pressure surround my nose that I’m pretty sure is because of the magic.

Suddenly, I hear a couple pops and there’s a spike of pain in my nose. My eyes shut tight and I let out a short groan. Celestia shushes me like what a mother would do to a crying baby. “It’s okay, that was the worst part. Now I just need to heal the bone.”

I feel more tingling, but it’s deeper inside my nose this time. Then all of a sudden, the pain washes away.

I open my eyes and see Celestia look my nose over and then take a few steps back. I slowly reach a hoof up to touch and then push on my nose muzzle. It doesn’t hurt anymore!

“Thank you!” I exclaim. “It’s like I never broke it.”

“You’re very welcome,” Celestia says with a kind smile. “But it was a just a simple spell. Now would you mind telling me who’s nose I just mended? I’m curious about any stallion who can get Luna so excited that she drags him over in the middle of the night, especially one she trusts so much.”

I expect Luna to cut in, but instead, she just glares at me and waits. “You can call me Astraeus.” I reach out a hand instinctively, but then I realize I’m not sure how to shake hands with my new hooves, or if ponies even do that in this age. Thankfully Celestia puts her own forehoof against mine and shakes it in a way that surprisingly doesn’t feel too unnatural.

“A pleasure to meet you Astraeus. I’m Celestia, but Luna seems to have already told you about me,” she says with a wink.

Luna, seemingly sick of the introductions, cuts in. “Good, we all know each other’s names. Now can we please…”

“Celestia! What’s going on down there?” A gruff voice booms from above.

Celestia’s ears fold back and she winces as the sounds of hoofsteps quickly get louder.

Then I see a grey stallion begin walking down the stairs. He has a long and messy white mane with a big curly beard… “Starswirl the Bearded,” I mutter in amazement. I can’t believe I didn’t guess that he was the former archmage.

“It’s Starswirl the Great,” Celestia corrects with a stern look. “He’s the mage who banished The Sirens on his own, so treat him with respect. Especially when you’re in our home.”

“Celestia,” Starswirl cuts in before I can apologize. “That’s no way to talk to our guests. And I’m more bothered by you waking me up than I am about that silly nickname.”

“You know ponies call you that as an insult,” Celestia pleads. “And I don’t think it’s-”

“Enough, Celestia,” Starswirl says with a frown. “You know I appreciate your concern, but I refuse to be bothered by the few ponies who think I’m crazy.” Starswirl looks to Luna, then me, before asking Celestia, “Now do you mind telling me why I’m up in the middle of the night?”

“I’m sorry,” Celestia sighs. “Luna just arrived with a coltfriend who she told our secret to. His muzzle was broken and I fixed it.”

“He is not my coltfriend! I just met him,” Luna exclaims with a furious blush.

Starswirl turns to my pegasus companion curiously. “Strange, I always thought Celestia would be the first to let that slip.”

“Please, just listen!” Luna yells louder than before. Then she begins talking so fast that neither of the unicorns can get a word in. “This is Astraeus. He fell out of the sky near the pegasi territory. I think he’s a spy sent by the earth ponies who most likely had the help of a cloudwalking spell. He made up some crazy alibi, so I need you to read his mind, Celestia, to help me decide if I should arrest him or let him go.”

Both Celestia and Starswirl the Bearded stare wide eyed Luna, who begins panting slightly after that speech. After a few seconds of silence, Starswirl turns around and walks to one of the tables covered in papers, sits down in front of it with his back to us, and says, “Well, this all sounds far too political for me. Do make yourselves at home, and have a seat near the fire to warm up.”

Celestia speaks up, her voice possessing a hint of worry. “What are you doing?”

“I have a feeling this is going to take a while,” the grey stallion replies nonchalantly. “And I doubt I’ll be getting anymore sleep with you three talking, so I might as well do some work. Remember to be a good host, my dear.”

“O-Okay,” Celestia says nervously. “I’ll go make us all some tea, then.” She turns and bolts through the door on the left wall to what I assume is a kitchen.

I go sit on the white cushion. I figure it would be rude not to accept Starswirl’s hospitality. Also, I’m still cold from the trip here. “Um… thank you Mr. Starswirl the Great… Sir. I’m sorry we’re keeping you up.” He gives me a grunt of acknowledgement.

I hear the clang of metal on metal as Luna echoes my statement. I turn to see her removing her armor. Once it’s all off, she walks over and take the pink cushion, the one farthest away from me. I’m not sure if it’s because she wants Celestia to sit next to me or if she’s just avoiding me.

I quickly notice that she has her cutie mark already. That feels off. Isn’t Luna’s talent raising the moon or going into dreams or something? Not wanting to reveal what I thought her special talent was, I try to casually ask, “So Luna, how’d you get your cutie mark?”

Luna glares at me and asks dryly, “Are you actually interested, or is this just an excuse to look at my flanks?”

“What?!” I ask in surprise. I hear a muffled laugh from Starswirl’s direction. “Actually interested! It’s just, not many ponies have ones that cover their whole, um… flank, like yours.” And then I add, hoping she would appreciate it and not think I was being a creep, “It’s really cool looking.”

She eyes me for a moment and I feel like she’s deciding if she should answer me or hit me. Then finally her expression relaxes and she says, “I was studying the moon when I was a filly.” Looks like somebody won’t need Celestia to fix their face twice in one day! “I had modified a military scout’s telescope my dad gave me so it could focus on the moon’s surface. I setup a piece of parchment behind it so I could trace the magnified image. Once I finished my sketch, I ran inside to show my dad and Celestia. When they woke up, they told me I had gotten my cutie mark.” By the time Luna finished, she had nostalgic smile on her face and was gazing into the fire.

At some point during the story, Celestia had apparently walked back into the room. She cut into the silence and said, “You were so excited that night. I think the only thing slowing you down was having to run between rooms to wake dad and I both up.” I turn and see her levitating a teacup and a small plate to Starswirl.

“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop,” Luna says. All hint of the former happiness gone from her voice.

“Oh, you’re one to talk Luna. And besides, it’s not like I wasn’t there when it happened.” Celestia sets down a floating tray filled with a tea set, and several plates with cookies on them in between the three cushions in front of the fire. She then lays down on the pale-yellow cushion between Luna and me. “Speaking of cutie marks, aren’t you a bit old to still be a blank flank, Astraeus?”

I glance at Celestia’s flank and see the familiar sun cutie mark, then I turn to examine my own flank, and that’s when I realize I’m not good at anything. Damn, I hadn’t thought about it, but it would’ve been really cool to see what mine would look like before I went home. Then my ears pull back against my head in a weird feeling involuntary twitch. Celestia must have noticed, because she quickly says, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that was a touchy subject for you.”

Any more talk on the subject is ended by Starswirl chuckling to himself and saying, “You kids are certainly having some bad luck talking about cutie marks tonight.”

Luna takes advantage of that interruption to finally talk to her sister. “Now that you’re here, Celestia, I should explain the situation. Astraeus is my prisoner and I want you to read his mind and figure out what he was doing in the sky. I didn’t want to bring him to the pegasi if he was innocent, but I’ll have to if you won’t help me with this.”

Celestia frowns. “Yes, you mentioned the interrogation spell. But I don’t think it’s right, Luna. That spell can display any memory to the mage performing it, no matter how hard the other pony tries to resist. There’s a reason only archmages learn it: some things are too sacred.”

“But isn’t this one of your duties?” Luna counters. “That’s why it’s taught. Your mentor uses it on most of the Princess’ prisoners. And I assume you had to use all the time before you retired, right Starswirl?”

“Not getting involved, remember? That’s the main reason why I stepped down in the first place,” Starswirl grumbles from his table. “But I have to say, Platinum employs that particular spell far more liberally than her father. Not that it ever bothered me; the things you can learn from it are fascinating.”

“I won’t do it! It’s not right,” Celestia proclaims. “I might have to use that spell when the duties of the archmage fall to me, but until then, please find another way, Sister.”

“You know what my other option is.” Luna’s expression softens for the first time since the white unicorn came back in the room. “Astraeus doesn’t seem that bad, but I can’t let him go without finding out what he was doing.”

The room is silent, save for the scratches of Starswirl’s quill on paper. I figure it’s about time I gave my two cents to all of this. “I actually don’t mind pri… uhh… pretty mare.” Fuck! Don’t tell her she’s going to be a princess. Who knows what that would do? “I actually had a favor I wanted to ask you and I think reading my mind a little might be the only way you’ll believe me.”

Celestia looks me in the eyes and then turns away slightly. Wait, is she blushing? “What is this favor and what won’t I believe?”

Luna cuts in and stops me from explaining. “Oh no, I can’t wait around here all night.” She then gives me a stern look. “I don’t have enough time to listen to that crazy story again or watch you flirt with my sister.”

I try to defend myself, but all that comes out is, “What? No, I…”

“Sister, why do you have to go so soon?” Celestia asks, ignoring Luna's flirting comment.

“Somepony could realize I left if I’m not back within the hour,” Luna answers, but looks away for some reason.

Celestia presses, “I thought you told me you're left alone all night during your scouting.”

“I left my telescope,” Luna mutters. “I'll get reprimanded if I'm caught using it on duty again. And there’s a patrol group moving through that area in an hour.”

Celestia laughs at some joke I don't seem to get, and Luna scowls at her.

Then the younger mare continues, “So, will you please agree to get the information for me, Celestia? I believe Astraeus would prefer it to me letting the other pegasi interrogate him.”

Celestia frowns deeply and looks to me as if waiting for confirmation, or a way out of this. I nod and she lets out a sigh. “Fine, Luna, you win.”

“Thank you! Now before I go, I should give you the full story.” Luna succinctly reviews our time together as she puts on her armor, highlighting my fall, how I broke my muzzle, my ‘insane alibi’ as she put it, and most importantly, the fact that I knew they were sisters. She also stopped all attempts to defend myself while she was talking.

Luna then walks to the door and says, “I’ll be back before sunrise. I trust you won’t let my prisoner leave until then. Unless you find out he is a spy, in which case I recommend executing him before he can escape.” Oh shit.

Celestia gasps at that suggestion. “Luna! If that were the case I could just restrain him or send him to our dungeon.”

“But what if he’s a changeling or some other evil creature?!” Luna counters.

Then the intense atmosphere dissolves with Starswirl’s laughter. I forgot he was still here. “If he were a changeling, we’d need him alive for a full interrogation. But don’t worry, Celestia will find out very soon if that’s the case.”

Luna seems to relax at that. “Okay, thank you for the tea and the hospitality. Astraeus, don’t try anything,” she says with a glare. “I promise it’ll only make things more difficult.” She gives me a more sympathetic look and adds, “But don’t worry, after this spell, you won’t be tortured even if I do have to arrest you.” I’m not sure what to say to that, so I try my hardest to smile as she leaves.

I don’t know if that was supposed to scare me or help me worry less, but this whole thing just seems way too violent for a princess from My Little Pony.

Celestia seems to let out a breath she was holding. “I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. And I hope my sister wasn’t too hard on you. She can be a bit much sometimes.”

I figure now is my chance to finally get some answers. “I know this is none of my business, but I assumed you two would get along better, being sisters and all. Are you two fighting?” Maybe the resentment for Celestia that turned Luna into Nightmare Moon began before they even become alicorns.

“We used to be closer, but things were hard for us after dad died. Luna thought it would be safer if we were separated to hide who we were, and even now we rarely get to see each other. Now it feels like every time either of us finds ways to visit the other, we just end up arguing about our secret.” Celestia gives me an uneasy look and asks, “Do you think it’s wrong that our mother was a unicorn and our father a pegasus?”

I’m a little thrown by the question but answer honestly, “Not at all, but…” I want to explain that I’m not from here so she shouldn’t assume ponies are like me, but she eagerly takes my response and continues.

“Thank you! I keep trying to tell Luna she just needs to have a little more faith in ponies. And if we’re ever attacked, it’s not like I can’t easily defend myself from all but two ponies in the realm. And I can’t see Starswirl or my master ever trying to hurt me.”

Starswirl chimes in. “We’d be the first ones there to help protect you if anypony did.”

“But Luna never listens, and she made me promise not to tell anypony we were sisters or who our parents were years ago,” Celestia continues. “You’re the first one to find out since the archmage told Starswirl.”

The grey stallion elaborates, but his focus never leaves the papers in front of him. “Astral Charm told everypony that she was never married and refused to talk about Celestia’s father. Then one day, when Celestia was about 19, Clover asked if I’d let Celestia live with me because her and Luna’s father died in combat. I consider agreeing to that as one of the best decisions of my life.” I look over at the mare in question and see that she’s wearing a sad smile as tears threaten to fall from her eyes.

“Why didn’t you take in Luna too?” I ask, hoping not to offend him but trying to figure out how they could abandon her.

“I offered, but Clover told me that Luna insisted on living with the pegasi and joining their military.”

Then Celestia’s mood completely shifts. “She just left on her own! And now, whenever we’re together, she’s so distant,” the previously quiet mare says with an angry sadness. But then she takes a deep breath, wipes her eyes, and continues. “I’m sorry, you didn’t need to hear that.”

“No, I’m sorry I asked about something so private,” I say, wishing I had waited to ask about Luna.

“It’s okay,” Celestia reassures me. “I just don’t get to talk about Luna with anyone but Starswirl and Archmage Clover. Speaking of her, she told me to always let ponies answer the interrogation questions themselves before using the spell. Even if we still have to use it, answering the questions will help prepare both of us for what’s about to happen.”

I’m a little confused so I ask, “What do you mean interrogation questions?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot most ponies don’t know how this spell works. The interrogation spell I’ll be using will just target the answers to specific questions. There are other spells that can tell a unicorn everything a pony can remember, but those are excessive and, in my opinion, repulsive.”

Well, at least Celestia doesn’t want to go through all my thoughts. Having her find out too much about the show might mess up her future. Having her find out too much about the fandom could be much worse.

“If I understood my sister correctly, I just need to find out if you were spying on the pegasi, what happened right before you fell out of the sky, and how you know Luna and I are sisters? To be honest, I’m pretty curious about that last one.”

Time to convince a princess-to-be that I’m from another world. Again. “I know this’ll sound crazy, but once you use your interrogation spell, you’ll see that I’m not lying… The thing is, I’m not actually a pony.” Celestia tenses and I see Starswirl turn away from his papers for the first time since he sat down. “I’m also not a changeling! Or anything evil,” I quickly add before these two incinerate me or something. “I’m a being from another world called a human.” The unicorns both stare at me skeptically. “We walk on two legs and have very little hair compared to ponies. I have no idea how I got here, became a pony, or fell from the sky. And based on the size of the crater and what Luna told me, I shouldn’t have survived the fall.”

Starswirl looks annoyed, but Celestia’s gaze is fixed on me. She mutters, “It’s a miracle,” and Starswirl rolls his eyes.

“I swear I wasn’t spying on the pegasi or any of you. I just want to get home. That’s actually what I wanted your help with. Also, my world has these things called TVs which show moving pictures that have sound. I learned a little bit about your world, who you and your sister are, and some things about your futures from it.”

This seemed to get Starswirl interested. “You’re saying you have magic to predict the future? How is that possible? What if you knowing about those events changes what happens?”

Celestia quickly says, “I have to see this! May I please use the spell now, Astraeus?” But she slows down and adds, “As long as you’re sure it’s okay.”

Awesome! This is a way better response than Luna’s. “Sure, I figure if you know I’m telling the truth, you might be more willing to help me get home.”

Celestia grins as she stands and approaches me. “Okay, now just relax. My magic will guide the questions.”

Celestia lowers her face down to where I’m sitting. Her horn lights up and I close my eyes as she brings it toward my face. I feel it touch my forehead, and then suddenly, white fills my vision.

When I open my eyes again, I’m floating in what looks like the night sky. There are brilliant stars everywhere and a few white clouds surrounding me. Out of one of the clouds, the pink maned Celestia walks toward me and I feel myself standing on solid ground. I look down and see that a bunch of the stars have formed a path under us that extends farther than I can see.

“First we’ll find out if you were spying on the pegasi,” Celestia says calmly. What looks like a two-dimensional flat screen TV flies towards us and just hangs in the air next to the path. It plays my first moments in this world on repeat: from opening my eyes to meeting Luna.

Celestia frowns at the screen skeptically and mutters. “No, I want what happened before this.” Then a screen of me working on my fluid mechanics homework flies up next to the first one.

“That’s pretty much all I remember. I was there –” I say pointing to the screen of me doing homework. “– and then I woke up here. Luna says I fell during that time, but I don’t remember it.”

Celestia stairs at me in amazement. “May I see what these ‘humans’ of yours look like?”

“Go ahead,” I say, giving Celestia a nod.

A screen of my parents, little brother, and grandparents appears. It’s from this past thanksgiving. Our conversation plays out loud from the direction of the screen. I smile, thinking about how much fun we were having. It’s been a few months since I last saw them during winter break and I’m really looking forward getting home in the summer.

I look over at Celestia and see that she can’t take her eyes off my family. I explain who each relative is and she looks fascinated.

“So, do you believe me now?” I ask, pulling Celestia out of her reverie.

“What?” She asks.

“Do you believe I wasn’t spying on the pegasi now?”

“Of course I do!” She yells as she puts her forehooves on my shoulders. “You actually weren’t a pony…” Celestia says with amazement and steps back down on solid ground, or… solid stars. “Now I just need to see how you knew about Luna and I. Oh, I can’t wait to tell Starswirl and archmage Clover all about this!”

Suddenly, about twenty screens fly up to us on both sides of the star path. A few of them are playing MLP, a couple show me looking at some pony artwork online, one is from me at a convention I went to. All of the screens depict something pony related, but I notice Celestia is just looking at one. It’s a YouTube clip I watched of someone giving Lauren Faust a portrait of Fausticorn.

“Astraeus, tell me who this is…” Celestia says. Her words sounding way more serious than they needed to be.

“It’s Lauren Faust, she created the things I was telling you about that showed me your future and identity.” I figure that’s probably the best way to explain it. I don’t need to explain that the show was made for little girls’ entertainment.

Celestia’s eyes widen. “Show me.”

Then a tidal wave of screens fills both sides of the pathway, each one playing a different episode of MLP. I notice that the earlier episodes are closer to us while the later seasons are too far for us to see.

Celestia looks around, amazed or in shock. Then she notices something. “That cutie mark…”

That’s when I realize this has gone too far. Celestia is staring at a cackling Nightmare Moon as lightning flashes around her. Then the screens shift around until we’re surrounded by different depictions of Luna’s evil transformation: the show, fan art, stories I’ve read. Most of them come with much smaller ponies looking completely terrified around her.

Celestia looks around until she sees the green smoke Nightmare Moon that Zecora made in the Nightmare Night episode. Celestia watches as the smoke figure charges at the fillies in costumes, sharp fangs bared.

Then, in a bright flash of white light, I’m back in front of the fireplace. Celestia stares at me with absolute terror in her eyes. Starswirl is standing to my left, looking at his ward with concern. “What did you see?” he asks the unicorn mare gently.

Celestia ignores him and asks, “Who was that?”

“She’s not important. What we should-”

“Tell me who that alicorn is now!” Celestia roars.

Oh shit. “Celestia, I really shouldn’t tell you too much about your future. I just need to get home so-”

Celestia’s voice gets unsettlingly quiet. “If you want my help, you’ll tell me the truth now. Otherwise I’ll have to use the complete interrogation spell.”

Fuck! I have no idea what finding out she’ll become princess and have to banish her sister to the moon will do to Celestia. I can’t let her read my mind again. “Fine,” I relent. “The alicorn is a pony called Nightmare Moon. From what I saw in my world, she attempted to rule over ponies and throw the world into an eternal night. But anything you saw about ponies thinking she would eat them was just a story for Nightmare Night, a holiday created about her.”

Starswirl cuts in, worry filling his voice now too. “Are you saying you’ve seen an alicorn? That’s impossible. And if an alicorn stops us from cycling the sun and moon every day, there’s no way we could survive. How would we grow food without sunlight?”

“It’s just what I saw in my world. I don’t know if they even match up with this world yet.” But from the looks of it, the show might just be a less violent version. That would make sense for a kids show.

“But that’s how you said you knew Luna was my sister,” Celestia says. “And you knew Starswirl as ‘The Bearded’. You learned that from your world too, right?”

I nod my head hesitantly.

“So if you know about our present from your world, the future you saw should be a prediction of our future,” Celestia says resolutely. “I just have to know one thing: Nightmare Moon is Luna, isn’t she?” Oh no.

Starswirl interrupts. “How is that even possible? Alicorns are just legends, and there’s no way your pegasus sister could suddenly grow a horn!”

“They had the same cutie mark, Starswirl! I saw it!” Celestia yells, tears swelling in her eyes. “Have you ever seen anypony else with a cutie mark like Luna’s?”

I don’t think she’ll believe me if I lie. And if Celestia doesn’t get this confirmation, she might go through all my memories. “I have no idea know how she turns into an alicorn, but Luna does become Nightmare Moon.” I say solemnly.

Celestia, for some reason, doesn’t seem as crushed by this news as I thought she would be. She tries to blink away her tears as she says, “I think you were sent here for this reason, Astraeus.”

“What?” Starswirl and I ask in unison.

“When we were looking through your memories, you told me the being who created these accounts of our world was called Lauren Faust. I believe that is an embodiment of our God, Faust.” Starswirl lets out a groan and Celestia glares at him. “She was in another world, Starswirl, and there was a picture that looked just like her depiction as an alicorn! And she is why Astraeus knows about us. Isn’t that enough proof for you?”

“Everything you see is ‘because of Faust’s will.’ A memory of somepony with her name means nothing,” Starswirl says with a roll of his eyes.

“Slow down. Who is Faust to you guys?”

Both unicorns try to answer, but Celestia beats the old stallion. “Faust is the divine embodiment of harmony. It was with her quill that life and everything we know was written into existence. She first created the alicorns, who eventually gave rise to us ponies.”

“But there’s no evidence that alicorns have existed,” Starswirl states adamantly, earning him an irritated look from Celestia. “Any explorer who sets out to try and follow the ancient legends just ends up giving up, never being heard from again, or dead.”

“And I think that She was the one who sent you here to stop my sister from turning into that monster. So what do we have to do?” Celestia asks hopefully.

Well, really just make sure you don’t overshadow her, and find a way to make more ponies night-owls, but I can’t tell her that. Stopping nightmare moon would fuck up their timeline so much. Twilight would never need to live in ponyville so she couldn’t become the princess of friendship, and who knows how many other effects there would be? Maybe the future would end up way worse if Luna was never banished. And maybe just telling Celestia that she not only caused Nightmare Moon but also banished her sister for 1,000 years would mess her up so much that she never wants to become the leader of Equestria.

“Nothing,” I say simply. “We’d be changing the future too much if we try and stop Luna’s transformation.”

“But it would be a good change if we’re stopping something evil! Even if Luna will never actually eats ponies, she’d have to do something pretty terrible to gain that reputation and an entire holiday about her,” Celestia argues.

We go back and forth for a while with Celestia making arguments in her favor and me continuously thinking about dangerous worst case scenarios, most involving an ultra-powerful enemy taking over Equestria, one that only the mane six could defeat. It ended up turning into a yelling match, but thankfully I was able to avoid revealing anything more about the future. Celestia quietly says, “Fine, you win.”

I’m glad it’s over, and even though I know this will end up better for all the ponies in the long run, I can’t help feeling bad for Celestia. She looks so lost and worn down, it’s like she’s already banished her sister. But it’ll be fine. I’m sure Celestia will have plenty of happy centuries with her sister before Luna rebels.

With tears streaming down her face, she turns to Starswirl, who had kept quiet during our fight, “Could you please work on sending him home? He’s telling the truth. He just wants to get back to his family.” And with that, Celestia’s horn begins glowing and she teleports away.

With Celestia probably crying her eyes out who knows where, only Starswirl The Bearded and I are left in the living room. He stares at me intensely, and I have no idea what’s going to happen. He’s probably thinking of ways to hurt me. I just made his… tenant? Friend? What is she to him?

I made soon-to-be-Princess Celestia cry, and now I’m going to be killed! My heart begins pounding in my chest. I want to run away so badly, but I know that wouldn’t make a difference. “Please don’t kill me, Mr. Starswirl!” I shout, hoping that I’ll still have my life and some of my dignity left after begging.

Starswirl immediately flinches and looks at me with confused amusement. “What are you talking about, colt? I’m not going to kill you.”

“But I made Celestia cry and you…” I manage to say as my heartbeat begins to slow down slightly.

Starswirl lets out a roaring laugh. “Why in the world would I kill you after Celestia confirmed you’re not a threat? She asked me to help you!”

“But Luna mentioned you transforming someone because you got mad at them.” Wait, am I arguing that he’s supposed to kill me?

After he suppressed his laughter, Starswirl tries to look guilty. “That was one of my more recent and less-well-received jokes. The stallion was my assistant. I had asked him to knock my drink over so I could pretend to get angry and turn him into a cloth to clean up the mess. I thought it was hilarious, but,” Starswirl frowns, “Celestia and the other ponies in the main hall didn’t seem to agree.”

“So, Luna was able to intimidate the castle guards by bringing up… a prank you pulled?!” Who the fuck is this guy?

“King Carat would have loved it,” Starswirl grumbles. “And what everypony seems to forget is that I transformed him right back into a pony. Unharmed! Albeit a little wet. I even told the crowd he was my assistant, which completely ruined the joke.” Starswirl looks more annoyed than remorseful.

I have no idea how to respond to this, but the grey stallion doesn’t seem bad, even if he is a shitty practical joker. “So, Mr. Starswirl the Great, Sir, would you mind helping me get back to my world?”

This seems to make him forget his annoyance, because he turns to me and says, “Of course! Where are my manners? I’ll do everything I can as long as you drop all of this Mr. and Sir business. In fact, you’re not from this world so I haven’t even saved your life. Just call me Starswirl. Am I clear?” I nod. “Good. Now, I’ll need some time to retrieve my mirror from the vault and find my old notes. We can start in a few days.”

“A few days? I thought you could just sort of zap me with your magic and send me home,” I say hopefully, really not wanting to have to make up an excuse for missing my midterm on Friday.

The bearded stallion snorts in amusement, “You really have no idea how this works, do you? I can’t simply teleport you home; I have to rip a sustained hole in the fabric of our dimension to access other worlds.” Then, with a bit of annoyance, he adds, “And I’m the only mage in all of recorded history to do this, by the way, so don’t think I don’t know what I’m talking about. Got it?”

“Yes, sir,” I reply immediately, and Starswirl gives me a sharp glare. “Yes, Starswirl.”

The former archmage’s expression softens. “Now I want you to describe your world to me. What kinds of magic does it have? What are the intelligent species on it? I need to know what we’re looking for.”

I spend the next half hour or so talking about earth, its lack of magic, humans, how the sun and moon move, and answering all of Starswirl’s ‘basic’ questions. Once I finish, he smiles, “I don’t want to needlessly get your hopes up, but I’m almost positive I can get you home much easier than I previously thought.”

“Really?!” This is great! I’m really glad Luna brought me here instead of some pegasus torture room.

Starswirl smiles confidently. “So, for now, let’s both get some rest, and I’ll have you home as soon as I can get my things together. Do you mind moving to the side of the room for a moment please?”

I’m a little confused, but I do as he asks. After clearing away the cushions by the fireplace with his telekinesis, Starswirl’s horn lights up and a wooden framed bed with white sheets appears in front of us. The unicorn must have noticed my surprise, because he grins and says, “I am a conjurer by trade, you know. Just one more thing…”

Starswirl’s horn flashes again but this time I feel a tingling all around my body that fades after a few seconds. “What was that?” I ask.

“Luna made Celestia promise not to let you leave until she came in the morning. Since Celestia is somewhat indisposed at the moment, I’m keeping her promise for her.” Starswirl glances up the stairs with a concerned look. “That spell will prevent you from leaving this room until I lift it. And the bed will disappear at sunrise, so no sleeping in. Consider it punishment for waking me up in the middle of the night and upsetting Celestia,” Starswirl says with a smile as he turns toward the staircase. “Now, if you need anything, my room is the floor right above this one, so just call up and I’ll hear you. Goodnight…” He stops walking and looks back at me apologetically.

“Astraeus,” I offer.

“Yes! Goodnight, Astraeus.” With that, my weird, but surprisingly nice, host leaves me alone.

The fire has died down to a few embers by now, so the living room is nice and dark. I realize that I’m not wearing any clothes and toothbrushes probably haven’t been invented yet, so I get into the incredibly soft bed, finally ending my long day in Equestria.

~~~

“Astraeus, wake up,” someone loudly whispers, ruining my sleep. I open my eyes to see a bright yellow flash and a white horse with a pink mane leaning over me. I freak out and fall off the other side of the bed before everything that happened hits me. “So, I didn’t just have some freaky dream,” I say as I untangle myself from the sheets.

I stand up to face the unicorn who lets out a small laugh, “No, I’m afraid this is all very real, Astraeus.” Oh right, my pony name. I forgot that I told Luna and Celestia…

“Celestia! You’re here! And you’re not yelling at me or crying anymore!”

The white unicorn’s smile fades slightly, but she doesn’t look angry. Just a little sad. “Do you mind coming with me for a moment? I’m sorry I disturbed your sleep, but there’s something I want you to see.”

All my irritation from being woken up is replaced by curiosity about Celestia’s request. I follow her up the staircase along the back wall of the living room. We continue our ascent past the doorway that I assume leads to Starswirl’s room, and then reach another door that Celestia opens with her magic.

We enter what looks like a repurposed storage space. There are about a dozen wooden trunks and crates with illegible scribbles on them piled up on one side, along with various large metal and glass instruments, some of which hold massive gemstones. The rest of the room is made up of a simple bed, a dresser, and a nightstand, the last of which has a few books on it that look like they’ve gotten plenty of use.

Celestia walks to her bed and lies down, motioning for me to join her. I notice there’s a book on her bed that she opens, once I’m next to her. She begins wordlessly turning the pages, giving me time to look at each one. It’s mainly filled with drawings of three ponies that I assume are Celestia, Luna, and their father, based on the ponies’ appearances. Some of the ones at the end of the book look almost like black and white pictures, although the earlier drawings look more like weird blobs than ponies.

One page of the book has two locks of hair tied in it: one light blue and one pink. Some pages are just filled with lines of scribbles that I have no idea what to think of. Maybe it’s some sort of gibberish that one of the sisters wrote when they were foals.

Finally, Celestia breaks the silence at one of the pictures of the adult stallion and the unicorn filly. “The poems and writings are mostly mine, but Luna did all of the pictures. I haven’t seen her draw portraits in years, but she used to love drawing the three of us.”

“They’re really good. Did you save all her drawings?”

Celestia nods. “At first, it was just the ones she gave me, but I collected the rest when we moved out, after our dad died. She might not be the most social pony, but Lulu didn’t get to go out and be with others as a filly that much. Mom used to bring me with her to the castle all the time, but dad wasn’t allowed to take her on patrols with him.”

I have no idea where this is all coming from. “Celestia, why are you telling me all this?”

“I just want you to know that the two of us didn’t have the most normal of foalhoods, Luna especially, but she has a good heart. Luna’s not a bad pony, I swear!” Oh no. I had really hoped Celestia had given this up. “I don’t know what will happen to turn her evil, but I know you can stop it! Faust sent you here for a reason, and I think it was to tell me about what my sister will become if we don’t do something! Please, Astraeus, we have to prevent her from hurting anypony.”

“No!” I exclaim. Celestia shrinks back. That was probably too forceful for telling someone you won’t try to stop their sister from turning into a monster worthy of moon-banishment, but I need her to give this up. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. But there’s too much at risk if I do anything to change your futures. It could end terribly.” There’s no way I can risk fucking up Equestria’s future like that.

Celestia shrinks back, looking defeated. “Can you at least tell me what turns her evil?”

I don’t meet her gaze as I shake my head. “I’m sorry.” The words feel hollower every time I use them.

“I just don’t see how my sister could hurt anypony. Manipulate or spy on, yes, but not harm.” Celestia begins to cry.

I put a forehoof over her shoulder in a pitiful attempt at comforting her. “I promise, even though this might not make sense now, I’m just trying to do what’s best for you and everyone else.”

After a few more sobs, Celestia begins to calm down. “I’m sorry, you’re right. Sometimes there are things we all have to do for the greater good, no matter how much it hurts.”

Good, I think I finally got through to her. “Exactly,” I say with an empathetic smile. “Just please trust me, even if you don’t understand.” It’ll all be fine in the end. After 1000 years of banishment, Celestia can live out the rest of eternity with her little sister.

The two of us sit in silence for a while until Celestia speaks up. “I’m sorry for being so angry with you this whole time Astraeus, your message was just hard to accept. Now, I think it’s time we both got some rest.”

“Right.”

I get up and begin walking toward the door, but stop as Celestia says, “You’re appearance here truly is a miracle, regardless of whether or not you believe that. I promise I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Thanks, Celestia. Goodnight.” She responds in kind and I return to my bed, finally returning to sleep.

I wake up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. I'm quicker to get my bearings than when Celestia woke me up, but this whole pony situation still feels like a dream.

The light of the predawn sky slipping through the windows is the only thing that lets me walk to the door and answer it. A tired looking Luna, clad in armor, stares at me and then at my bed, which occupies most of the sitting room by the fireplace. “Well at least you're still here and not dead,” she says with a lazy smile. “So, you’re not dangerous enough to kill and didn't manage to escape.”

“Did you actually expect that?” I ask in disbelief.

“Not really, but being overly trusting is dangerous. Especially since I can't rely on magic to protect myself like my sister.” At that, Luna peers behind me to my right. “Speaking of Celestia, is she still here? I want the full report of her spell before I go home and sleep.”

“No idea, but it's exactly what I told you yesterday. I'm from another world and I've seen some things about your world.”

“We'll see… I'll wait here to ask Celestia when she's back.” Luna then sidesteps me and moves into the living room.

I shrug, close the door, and go sit on my bed. Once Luna finishes removing her armor, she just stands and stares at me, occasionally glancing around the room. “Do you want to have a seat?” I gesture to the foot of my bed. “Starswirl The Be- I mean The Great moved all the cushions away to make room for this last night.”

“N-no!” Luna breaks our eye contact and looks away. “I will not be found in a stallion’s bed by my sister, let alone one I just met. I'll stand, thank you.”

Yikes, I didn't realize ancient Equestria was so old fashioned. Or maybe it's just Luna… Celestia showed me that journal on her bed last night without making it seem weird.

The next five or so minutes pass in awkward silence, with me not wanting to insult Luna again, and her finding the wall much more interesting than me. Once the sun begins to rise, Luna turns to one of the windows and announces, “Good, she should be back soon.”

I glance towards the blue pegasus and then look out the window myself. I’m usually not one to watch the sunrise, even though I try to get up before dawn, but something about this just feels special. It doesn't look any different from a normal sunrise, but it feels like I'm seeing one for the first time.

I'm broken from my reverie by a loud bang coming from the ceiling followed by some muffled words and footsteps. A few seconds later, Starswirl The Great walks down the stairs, his beard and mane looking just as tangled and messy as last night.

“Ah, Astraeus, Luna, you're already awake and here. Please come with me, I'll make some tea while we wait for Celestia.”

“Good morning, Starswirl. Sorry for coming in while you were sleeping.”

“Oh, you know I don't care about those sort of formalities, Luna. Besides, if you weren't welcome here, it'd take an awful lot of magic to get in,” he says with a hearty laugh.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask curiously. “Also, good morning, and thanks for the bed last night.”

“Thank you, my colt. Oh! I almost forgot.” Starswirl stops right before opening the door to the other part of this floor, turns around, quickly zaps away the bed, and moves the sitting cushions and furniture back to their places. “And I keep a barrier around this tower that prevents unwanted intruders from getting in without an invitation. Luna is on my short list of ponies who are welcome here anytime.” Starswirl gestures at Luna and gives her a welcoming smile which she returns in thanks. Then Starswirl turns back to me and begins talking again, “Also, before I forget, I should remove the…” He stares at me for a second and blinks. “What happened to my enchantment? Can you dispel magic?”

I glance at Luna, then back to the old mage in confusion. “Uhhh… I don't know what you're talking about.”

Then something seems to click in his head. “Did Celestia ask you to leave the living room last night?” he asks with a knowing smile.

“Yeah… she wanted to talk to me,” I admit hesitantly. I'd rather not discuss our conversation about Luna while she’s here.

A wide grin breaks on Starswirl face and he mutters, “She can break my enchantments at half the age Clover could. Absolutely amazing…” He leads us into a kitchen with a small table setup with three chairs, then turns to Luna and says, “You have a very powerful sister, you know. That mare has been gifted with magic beyond her years.” Luna nods but doesn't offer any words of response.

“Sorry, I think I'm missing something,” I say to Starswirl. “What happened?”

“Do you remember the spell I cast on you last night?” I think back and vaguely remember him mentioning it. “Had you tried to go up the stairs, open a door, or even jump out a window, you would have met with a magical wall far stronger than any stone. Apparently, it suited my ward to release you from your imprisonment early.”

Starswirl then walks to a side door and opens it just as realization suddenly appears on Luna’s face. “You mean he could have escaped any time last night‽” she shouts.

Starswirl nods dismissively and ushers us into the kitchen.

“If it makes you feel any better, I had no idea,” I say trying to quell Luna's exasperation. She sighs and seems to drop it for now.

Luna and I are directed to sit at a small table with three seats. After rejecting our offers to help, Starswirl begins making tea. “Unfortunately, I can't really make anything edible, apart from drinks and sweets, so Celestia does most of the real cooking.” He levitates a large copper tea kettle in front of him after filling it with water. “Before she moved in, my breakfasts were nothing more than plain fruit and hay.”

The kettle, still surrounded by the white glow of Starswirl's magic, begins to whistle after about 3 seconds. At the same time, drawers and cabinets open and close as Starswirl levitates out teacups, saucers, spoons, and a jar of tea leaves. It's like the grey unicorn made the whole kitchen come alive during our chat without any effort. I’m starting to get why Twilight idolizes this guy.

After a couple minutes of waiting, Starswirl levitates over a small plate of thin metal sticks with what appears to be rock candy on them and pours four cups of tea. “That was amazing!” I yell, still marveling at his telekinesis. Luna, meanwhile, sips her tea, unfazed by the display.

As he sits down in the remaining seat, Starswirl smiles, “Oh that's right, I forgot you don't have magic in your world.”

Any response I’m about to come up with is interrupted by the dark blue pegasus going into a fit of coughs. Thankfully she doesn't spit out her tea, but Starswirl floats a napkin to her anyway. Once she's almost done choking, Luna demands, “You mean he's actually not a pony‽”

I grin. Finally!

“Well, technically, he's a pony now, but Celestia said she saw him as a different creature in his memories before you met him, so I guess the proper statement would be ‘he actually was not a pony yesterday,’” Starswirl says with a chuckle.

“Told you so.” Oh my god her face is priceless.

“But that doesn’t mean-” the midnight blue pegasus sputters angrily.

“Have some compassion Luna,” Starswirl says “The poor colt has absolutely no one in this land, family or friend.” Okay, that kind of hurt.

Luna lets her head hit the table with a painful sounding smack and then mumbles, “Well at least I won't have to report this.” She begins to suck on one of the rock candy sticks but makes no motion of raising her head. I think Luna broke.

I spend the next five minutes trying, not completely unsuccessfully, to eat the rock candy and drink my tea. God I miss having fingers. Thankfully, Starswirl doesn’t seem to mind fixing my shattered teacup four times.

Soon after I sort of figure out how to grab things without hands, I hear the sound of a door opening and closing, followed by Celestia walking in the kitchen. She greets the three of us in a perfunctory manner and begins to make breakfast without saying a word.

Either the pony with a sun on her ass isn’t a morning person or she’s still worrying about the Nightmare Moon thing. It seemed like she got over it last night, but I should definitely talk to her again when I have the chance.

All of a sudden Starswirl stands up, knocking his chair back in the process and pulling Luna out of her stupor. “Young mare!” Celestia’s attention snaps away from her ingredients as the old, yet surprisingly imposing, stallion marches towards her. “Did you dispel the imprisonment enchantment I put on Astraeus last night without my permission?” Celestia looks nervous but she doesn’t turn away. She merely gives a small nod. And with that, Starswirl’s scowl breaks into a grin as he nuzzles her. “I’m so proud of you! How long have you been able to dispel that kind of magic?”

Celestia, seemingly stunned by the lack of anger from the other unicorn, takes a few moments before answering with a small smile. “I’d never tried dispelling your sealing magic before so I had no idea if I could do it, but it didn’t feel right to bind a messenger of Faust like that. You’re really not mad? I know should have just waited until the morning but…” Celestia trails off as she glances at me with a smile.

“Mad‽” Starswirl booms. “Of course not! I’m just amazed at how fast you’re progressing. You’ve outpaced both your mother and Clover in terms of raw power by around a decade. We must tell Clover about this after breakfast.”

“Actually, I had planned to show Astraeus around the kingdom, if you don’t mind,” Celestia says. “He should probably learn about our culture while he’s here. I assume it’ll take you a while to send him home, right?” She sounds almost hopeful asking that last question. Oh god, I really hope she doesn’t want me to tell her more about the future.

“Oh! Of course. Yes, it should take at least two days to gather everything I require for the spell.” Starswirl looks over at me as though he just realized Luna and I were still there. “And I don’t imagine you share my penchant for staying hauled up in this tower for extended periods of time.”

Even though I have to get back as soon as possible, I still want to check the place out while I’m here. I nod in agreement as he turns back to Celestia. “I shall inform Clover of your milestone when I ask her about my old mirror. I’ll also need to send a letter soon if…” Starswirl mumbles the last part to himself so I have no idea what he said.

Starswirl comes back to the table to sit down as he levitates over some paper, a feather quill, and a bottle of ink. Celestia moves to begin preparing breakfast again, but then Luna clears her throat, “Celestia, may I speak with you privately?”

“Always, Sister,” the tall mare replies kindly while keeping her gaze on the food for a moment before leading Luna out into the living room.

My stomach growls as I sit and wait for the sisters to get back, so I suck on another piece of rock candy to pass the time. Much easier than holding a teacup. Starswirl doesn’t seem to realize I’m in the room as he writes on the parchment with his telekinesis. More of that scribble writing I saw in Celestia’s journal last night.

After what feels like ten minutes, a tired looking Celestia returns, followed by a slightly irritated Luna, who’s now back in her dark armor. The former returns to making breakfast while the latter thanks Starswirl for the tea.

Luna then turns to me. “Astraeus, I want to thank you for not running away,” she says with a smile. “I’d like to talk with you more, now that I know you’re not trying to infiltrate my tribe –” She tries and fails to stifle a yawn. “– but that can wait till I’ve gotten some sleep.” Luna says her goodbyes to each of us and heads off to wherever she lives.

I wait eagerly for Celestia to finish making us breakfast, since she insisted she didn’t need any help. Starswirl finishes his letter and uses his magic to put a wax seal on it identical to his cutie mark, a large five pointed star with two smaller ones to its left and right. Once that’s done, he asks me more about how Earth revolves around its sun without magic, something Celestia also seems very interested in.

Finally, after dozens of questions about astrophysics that my mechanical engineering classes really haven’t prepared me for, Celestia brings over several platters of different food. Food that should probably be preserved if the windigos are going to ruin their harvest at some point and possibly cause a famine.

“So, uhh… this really seems like a lot of food for breakfast,” I say with the smoothness of sandpaper.

“Of course,” Celestia assures. “You’re our guest. It wouldn’t be right to skimp on cooking today.” Shit! They’re wasting possibly precious food because of me. What if the windigos come soon?

“Oh, I really appreciate all this, Celestia, but it’s too much just because I’m here. Don’t you need your food to last until the next harvest?”

Starswirl responds between spoonfuls of a delicious smelling vegetable stew. “I appreciate your consideration, but there’s no need to worry. The pegasi are due to wrap up winter very soon, and the harvest begins shortly after that.”

Celestia, who has taken Luna’s old seat to my left, lights up. “And if you stay until then, you’ll be here for the winter festival!”

“Is that just singing while you wrap up winter?” I ask, having already seen that episode and not having much interest in plowing snow all day.

“No,” Celestia responds. “Wrap Up is a pegasus-only thing, but all the tribes hold their own parties the day before.”

“It’s Celestia’s favorite day of the year,” Starswirl says with a chuckle, as though he just thought of something funny. “You might enjoy it.”

“Thanks, but I really need to get home as soon as you’re able to send me back Starswirl.” I’m also worried about dying from starvation or freezing to death but the windigos might not be coming for many years from now.

“Yes yes, I’ll get started as soon as we’re done eating,” he says nonchalantly before he returns to his food. Not seeing any way to convince the two unicorns to ration out their food more sparingly, I unceremoniously dig in. In lieu of hands, I just sort of shovel food into my mouth. The two unicorns don’t seem to fault me for it, commenting that they’d probably be just as useless eating with their hooves as I am.

“Celestia! This is amazing!” I say between mouthfuls of the stew and bites of toast with jam. It might just be the pony taste buds, but I’ve never had fruits and vegetables this good before!

We spent the better part of that hour enjoying our feast. Celestia asked me a few questions about what my world is like and what some of the things she saw in my memories were, although she avoided bringing up anything MLP-related, thankfully. I asked her what she was out doing this morning (even though I had a pretty good idea) and I found out she leads the sun raising and setting teams. Starswirl was quick to tell me that the position is usually reserved for the archmage or one of the senior-most members of each team. According to him, Celestia has “a rare knack for guiding the sun into its proper position.”

Once we all finish breakfast, Starswirl lightly coughs and says “Now then, my young stallion, would you mind helping the two of us with the dishes?”

I nod, stand, and reach over to stack the dishes (which I can reliably do without breaking anything) as the two unicorns do the same with their magic, resulting in three messy towers on the table. I look over and notice Celestia’s grinning for some reason.

Starswirl walks around the table so the dishes are between him and the kitchen. “You may want to look over there,” he instructs as he directs my attention to where Celestia was cooking before.

Celestia’s horn begins glowing a bright pale yellow as she faces the same direction as I am. “Whenever you're ready!” she says confidently.

One by one, dishes begin to fly towards the open cupboards, still covered in food and encased in the white aura of Starswirl’s magic. Before any of them have a chance to get put away, Celestia sends out lances of what looks like living fire at each plate, cup, and spoon. I feel the heat on my face as Celestia immolates the food scraps with her magic, leaving them spotless before they fly onto the shelves. The kitchen and the dishes themselves must be magically protected because the flames pass over them harmlessly.

After a dozen items go by, Starswirl begins sending them out two or three at a time which makes Celestia speed up with her spellcasting. Then he begins to change their course in mid air which trips the unicorn mare up a little bit, but by the time everything is put away, not a single dirty dish went inside those cabinets.

After the amazing display that was ‘doing dishes’ in Starswirl's tower, Celestia took me on a tour of the castle. Princess Platinum was holding court, so we avoided the throne room; apparently having an earth pony brought in personally by the archmage's apprentice would attract some attention, especially if I didn't have anything to ask the princess for.

As we walk through the castle, almost every unicorn greets Celestia by name. Some of the ones in armor even refer to her as ma'am and salute.

“I had no idea you were so popular,” I tease, knowing full well that eventually she'll be the most beloved pony on the planet.

Celestia’s mood seems to deflate a little at that. “Actually,” she says, “I often lead their magic training, but I can’t really consider any of them my friends. Clover and Starswirl are the only ponies who I can really open up to, and they’re like family to me.”

“What about Luna?” I ask automatically.

“She’s the only blood relative I have left, but we’re not that close anymore.”

“Does that mean you used to be?”

“Yes, when we were foals,” she responds tersely.

“What changed?” I’m probably overstepping here, but now I’m curious.

“I moved into the castle and she enlisted. That’s all there is to it.” Our conversation dies down for a bit after that.

In silence, Celestia leads me back over the bridge I crossed with Luna last night. The land just outside of the castle is filled with plenty of sturdy looking stone houses, shops, and other buildings, all inhabited by unicorns. Celestia and I spend the better part of the morning going through town as she tells me about the different places and ponies. There’s less formality towards Celestia here than in the castle; most ponies greet her by name or as ‘Apprentice Archmage’ and give her a smile, but there’s no one who stops to talk to her beyond that.

My white-coated tour guide then takes me to a football-field-sized area of grass, completely free of the snow that blankets the rest of the ground. There, dozens of unicorns are casting spells at each other and magically throwing spears. They’re all sparring in pairs, with one erecting a shield to defend himself from his partner’s attack before they switch and repeat the process. The area is filled with a cacophony of sound as bolts of different colored magic impact against shields of similar pastel hues. At the far end of the field a grey stone building that stands two stories high, it's wider than any other structure in the unicorn village, save for the castle.

“Welcome to the training grounds, Astraeus,” Celestia says as we step onto the field. “That building down there is the barracks.”

Before I have a chance to ask any questions, Celestia calls out to a mare nearby. “Focus, Dazzle! You need to concentrate if you want that shield to hold!”

A handful of unicorns notice us and salute Celestia before returning to their training, decidedly faster than before.

“This is where I do half of my studying,” Celestia continues. “And where Aunty Clover usually works during the day.”

“And what exactly do you study here?” I ask, a bit surprised to see the sweet mare so at ease in a military operation like this.

She scans the armored unicorns and comments, “The same thing as everypony else here.” Just then, she grabs a flying spear out of the air with her magic and sends it back in the direction it came from and snaps, “Emerald! I keep telling you to watch where you throw that spear! If you accidentally hurt somepony, you’ll be the only one on cleaning duty for a month!” Shifting her attention back to me, she continues, unphased by her sudden outburst, “I practice spells.”

“Wow, so both you and your sister are soldiers,” I say with a hint of awe and surprise.

Celestia stops walking. I turn around and see her staring at me with all the seriousness in the world. “I train guards, not soldiers. They protect other ponies from monsters; they’re not training for war, like the pegasi.”

“Sorry, I just…”

Celestia continues after I trail off, “It’s okay, Astraeus.” Her face relaxes into her usual smile, but when she begins walking again, she takes up a brisker pace than before. “But just know that we’re not killers like them.”

We continue to the end of the training grounds and enter the barracks. Celestia leads me past several very well-kept rooms filled with bunk beds and storage spaces for weapons and armor. Enough for far more than the roughly thirty guards out on the field. It looks like this place could outfit and house hundreds of unicorns in here.

As we enter the room at the end of the main hall, we’re greeted by a unicorn mare sitting behind a desk. She has a mane the color of grass, violet eyes, and a coat of such a pale shade of green it might be mistaken for white. She’s not nearly as ancient as Starswirl the Bearded, but she does have a few creases around her eyes and muzzle.

The room is flanked by a book shelf on either side and a large window behind the desk, which lets plenty of light in. There are several scrolls of parchment and ledgers on the desk along with a quill and a bottle of ink. They’re all extremely well organized–a stark contrast to the desks in Starswirl’s tower.

“Good morning, Aunty!” Celestia says as she prances over behind the desk to nuzzle the mare. “Astraeus, I’d like to introduce you to my master, protector of-”

“Clover The Clever, at your service,” the mare in question says with a smile, cutting off Celestia’s introduction and giving me a firm hand hoofshake. She motions for Celestia and I to sit at the chairs in front of her desk as she sits back in her large cushioned chair. It makes me feel a bit more at ease in front of the third super powerful unicorn I’ve met since coming here.

Celestia is nothing but warmth (when she’s not talking about Luna) and Starswirl is a bit too eccentric to take seriously most of the time, but something about Clover worries me. It might just be the fact that her posture shows she’s a military commander (or guard captain), but I feel like I definitely shouldn’t get on her bad side.

The mare in question continues with her introduction, “I’m in charge of security and maintenance around here.”

“What? I thought you were the archmage,” I remark in confusion.

“Yup, I’m in charge of almost every unicorn with magic worth a damn around here. We make sure this castle and the surrounding land is well defended.”

“And the maintenance?”

“Of the night and day,” she finishes. “My old master told me a bit about your home-”

“Starswirl’s here?” Celestia interrupts. She casts a quick glance around the room and over her shoulder, looking on guard for some reason.

“No,” Clover responds. “He said he had to go take care of something with the chancellor’s secretary, of all ponies.”

“What? Why? He didn’t mention anything about that to me.”

“I have no idea, Celestia,” the green mained unicorn says with a sigh. “After half a century, I’ve learned it’s usually easier to just not question the old stallion when he's working on something.” Clover then turns back to me. “Anyway, before my apprentice interrupted me-” Celestia gives her master a sheepish look. “-I was trying to say that here the sun and moon don’t just move themselves. My unicorns take care of that. Although, Celestia’s been running the sun raising and setting teams for a few years now.” The young mare’s expression turns to one of pride at that comment.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, ma’am,” I reply. “And if Starswirl came by earlier, does that mean he mentioned what I'd like to ask you?”

“Oh please, you’re not one of my guards and nopony else is around,” she smiles. “Just call me Clover, but don’t forget,” her expression goes serious for a moment, “in public, I’m Archmage Clover. And yes, Starswirl did tell me about your request. I’d like to hear the full story from you before I agree to help, though. Consider it payment: you satisfy my curiosity about your world, and I help you return there.” Her stone visage turns into a grin.

“Deal,” I say as I match her expression and give her a hoofshake. She seems like a good pony overall. Less eccentric than Starswirl, and definitely more serious.

“In that case,” Celestia chimes in, “why don’t you join us for lunch, Aunty Clover?”

“I’d love to. Just let me make sure these ponies won’t go soft on me while we’re gone.”

Clover the Clever dons a plain-looking winter cloak, and we follow her out to the training grounds. She calls for everyone to stand in attention and then yells, “Shields up!”

The ponies arrange themselves in two long rows facing towards each other with the three of us standing at one end.

“Astraeus, get behind me,” Celestia whispers.

I quickly move behind the white unicorn and she erects a golden shield in front of us. Bubbles of magical energy colored differently for each unicorn appear as every pony other than Clover mirrors Celestia.

Clover takes about ten steps forward and yells, “Ready!” A few dozen pink spears appear and fan out in front of her like a spiked tutu. One for each shield, I assume. Then a significantly larger one materializes, pointing straight at Celestia’s head. I gulp and take a step back, but Celestia and her shield don’t move.

Without warning, every spear shoots away from the archmage. The first impacting Celestia’s shield with a definite crunch. It stops with an inch of the tip poking through to our side, about a foot directly in front of her muzzle. Celestia didn’t even flinch. Then the rest of the spears hit the other shields is rapid succession making a quick series of thumping sounds. Some shields hold and knock the spears harmlessly to the ground, plenty of others manage to catch the spears before they fully penetrate, but over half of them shatter, allowing the spears to sail over the heads of the unicorn guards. I think Celestia’s spear was the only one aimed directly at her; that's either complete confidence in the younger mare or reckless endangerment.

“Those of you who stopped your spears, good job! Take the rest of the day off,” Clover bellows. “Anypony who’s shield didn’t hold, get lunch and then continue drilling until sunset. And be thankful that wasn’t a real attack. Dismissed!”

The lines of ponies relax. Most of them leave the training grounds in small groups, talking about things I couldn’t make out. I do, however, hear a few murmurs of “earth pony.” I guess it is weird for me to be here; I haven’t seen another non-unicorn, save for Luna, in this whole place.

The guards leave a wide berth for our little group of three to cross the training grounds. We head into town and make our way to what seems like a small, fairly empty café. It’s a stout stone building that’s lit by candles on the walls and on the tables. The warmth inside is a welcome change to the frigid weather. We take our seats, and I begin recounting the events of yesterday to the Archmage.

Clover The Clever listened in silence for the duration of my well-rehearsed tale. If she had any guesses as to what the hell happened to me, she let on just about as much as a professional poker player. Once I was finished, I was hit with a barrage of questions about what I felt like before and after landing here, if anything unusual happened in my world, if there were any magical disturbances in my world that I was aware of, etc.

Celestia kept quiet for the majority of lunch; she was just looking out the window most of the time. She’s probably just as bored listening to the story as I am telling it.

Once Clover is all out of questions, she says, “In truth, I haven’t heard of anything like this Astraeus. I can actually see why you think this is Faust’s will Celestia.” The mare beside me perks her ears up and finally looks over at her mentor with a big smile. “But if you were sent here by magical means we’ve encountered before, I’m sure we can get you home.”

“Thank you Clover,” I say and let out a sigh of relief.

Our food arrives and the conversation dies down as we eat. Thankfully, Clover seems to be understanding about my terrible hoof-eye coordination. Or, if she is bothered by me slurping my bluebell soup like a dog drinking out of a water dish, she doesn’t let it show.

Towards the end of the meal, Clover clears her throat to get Celestia’s attention. She had been spacing out again. “Starswirl told me about the enchantment you broke last night.” She smiles with pride at the younger unicorn before getting back to business. “I’ve decided I want to measure your progress and see for myself just how much you’ve advanced. I can’t go rushing your lessons because the old man can’t seal a room as well as he used to,” she chuckles. “You’ll run the gauntlet as soon as we’re done here. This morning, I asked Starswirl to set everything up when he finished his errands, so he should be done by now. Once we see how you do, I can adjust your lessons accordingly.”

Celestia’s demeanor shifts. She’s not looking out the window, but she’s not smiling either. She’s just staring at Clover The Clever, as though she’s looking for something. “We’ll begin immediately?” Celestia says without emotion.

“As usual,” replies the older mare with a smile.

“Can Astraeus join us?”

“If he wishes.”

Because the only other pony I know is probably sleeping somewhere in the sky, I nod. Although, I have no idea what’s going to happen.

“It’s settled then,” Clover says with a smile as she gets up from the table. “Astraeus, give me your hoof.”

I stand and reach out a hoof to Clover, and once she takes it in her own, I feel like I’m pulled by my stomach as my inside and outside parts quickly forget where they belong. The world becomes a flash of pink. I shut my eyes and vomit right where I stand and soon feel a pat on my back and hear Clover laugh and say, “Sorry about that, kid. Your first time teleporting is always the worst. It’ll get better. I promise.”

I open my watery eyes and blink a few times as I get be bearings. The first thing I see is the mess I made, followed by white. There’s snow everywhere, heavier than in town, and we’re surrounded by mountains.

A moment later I hear a crack of magic as Celestia teleports next to us. She-

I hear the rush of air and turn to see a sphere of white energy shoot towards us from some unknown source.

Celestia’s eyes go wide and she disappears in a flash of yellow magic, leaving nothing between my body and the high velocity crackling magic energy death ball! Then the world goes pink as the sphere impacts. I shut my eyes instinctively as the explosion roars, but I don’t feel a thing. I assume it’s because I was killed quickly. At least that’s one positive about my final moment on earth, or wherever the hell I am.

But then I hear laughter. I HEAR FUCKING LAUGHTER! I open my eyes to see a frowning Clover drop her pink shield from around us. We are now standing in a small circular patch snow, surrounded by a 15 foot radius circle of totally snow-free and partially on-fire dirt centered a few feet in front of me.

The laughter dies down and I realize the source as he begins to talk, “Sorry to scare you my colt, but I knew Clover would keep you safe if Celestia didn’t.” Starswirl emerges on top of a snow bank and smiles down at us.

“You almost killed me man! What was that for‽”

“Sorry Astraeus; he does this a lot,” Celestia calls out nonchalantly from about 50 feet to my left.

“Your friend is right, Celestia! If I hadn’t been with him, he would have died,” Clover chides, concerned.

Starswirl’s horn lights up. I’m suddenly teleported again and the 4 of us are close together in a different part of the valley. I manage not to vomit this time, but that's probably just because I already lost the contents of my stomach with the first teleport.

Starswirl lets out a sigh. “This is why I keep telling you it’s not enough to just get out of a dangerous situation. As archmage, it will be your job to protect everypony. Self preservation is essential of course–you can't do your duties if you're dead–but the position of archmage is meaningless if your people have all been killed.”

Celestia’s ears fold back as her other mentor adds on, “Malicious attacks are far different from duels. If you let an errant blast from either yourself or your enemy go unchecked, ponies could get hurt.” Celestia turns down to look at the ground, but Clover gently raises her chin with a hoof. “You’re a wonderful mage, Tia. You can outcast every unicorn, save for Starswirl and myself, but you’ll rarely have time to think everything through in a real-world situation.”

“Exactly!” Starswirl exclaims. “The decision to cast a shield or redirect a spell as opposed to just teleporting away when there are other ponies in the line of fire has to become second nature. There’s rarely time to stop and think when ponies are in danger. Sometimes, you’re forced to just act. I continue to test you like this to make sure that your instinctive response is the right one. All the studying in the world means nothing if you can’t implement the best solution when you really need to.”

Celestia nods. “You’re both right. I’m sorry.” Thankfully, she looks more determined than upset now. And because of that, I think I look more happy than nauseated now.

“It’s alright,” the pale green mare says to her student. “No harm was done. I just want you to be more aware of your surroundings in the future. Now, let’s get started.”

As Clover leads us forward, I get a good look around the area we were teleported to by the crazy almost-murdered-me-to-make-a-point unicorn. I notice that we’re beyond the snow bank he was standing on earlier (unless there’s another area where someone blew up a huge area of snow). It’s a large valley tucked between several mountains. The most noticeable feature is a huge black cloth covering some lumpy… thing that’s about the size of a small building. The snow around the structure seems to have been magically melted.

The Archmage seems to be leading us away a short way from the shrouded thing to a vertical wall cut into one of the mountains going on for what seems to be the length of a football field. On it are dozens of round holes about one to two feet in diameter. They seem to have been made in pairs as they get progressively deeper every other hole. As we walk along the wall, they go from a few inches to several yards deep. I notice some of that scribble writing under each hole.

Clover The Clever stops walking and breaks the silence I didn’t even realize had surrounded us for the past minute, “Astraeus, these were made by Astral Charm and I when we were training.” Her voice was sad, but she wore a small smile as she spoke. “She was Celestia’s mother, and my best friend…”

“You were the best apprentices I could have asked for,” Starswirl says as he puts a hoof on Clover’s shoulder. “Do you remember how you two would get so worked up about who could blast deeper into the mountain?” The old stallion chuckles a bit as tears begin to form in his eyes.

“I remember that Charm would almost always beat me. And these past few years, you’ve surpassed both of us my faithful student.” Celestia thanks the older mare and they share a nuzzle before we continue.

I feel like I’m intruding on a really personal moment. All three of these ponies are tearing up, but I have no idea what to say. We pass a few moments in silence before we continue to walk down the stone wall.

At some point, the holes change from pairs to being spaced out one at a time, each one significantly deeper than the last. Celestia reads off the date from the hole at the shift and tells me that one was made by Clover a few months before the summer she was born.

Eventually, we get to the end of the holes and the Archmage instructs her protégé to begin. “Astraeus, just so you know what’s going on, the rules are simple. Celestia has to make the deepest hole in the mountain she can while taking as much time as she needs, but we won’t be here long.” What follows is a sudden, almost blinding, burst of golden light emanating from Celestia’s horn directed into the mountain. Several popping sounds follow and the next thing I know there’s a deeper hole in the mountain than any of the others before. It has to be at least the length of a football field and about 30% longer than the hole it’s next to.

“Wonderful power as always, Celestia!” Starswirl beams.

“Yes, but you still need to work on your precision,” Clover counters. “I’d prefer to have you show a little more restraint if it’d let you keep your blast straight.” I look at what the archmage is commenting on and see that the walls of the still molten earth are crooked and rough unlike the earlier holes made by Starswirl's previous students.

“But what’s the point of that, aunty?” Celestia whines. “This is a test of raw power, so what better time to let loose?”

“Fine,” the tired looking green mare sighs. “Just try and remember that The Gauntlet isn’t a test of how hard can you hit something with your magic.”

We arrive at the formerly shrouded... device? apparatus? obstacle course? in question. The eager white mare goes to stand on a raised pedestal with confidence I would have expected from the future god-princess. This is surprising because the sheer amount of barbaric killing equipment is scaring the shit out of me, and I’m not the one who has to cross it to reach the small yellow flag that is her finish line. There are pony sized meat tenderizers, a dozen guillotines at various angles, swinging blades, and glowing objects that definitely don’t look friendly. To make things worse, there are only a few small platforms at varying heights leading from Celestia to her goal. What kind of monster came up with this‽

“This is my favorite way to test students!” Starswirl announces. “I don’t remember how many times Charm and Clover ran through it.” I see the archmage smile as she fiddles with a series of levers and ropes with her magic.

“Aren’t you worried about Celestia’s safety‽ This stuff could kill her!”

Clover’s eyes leave her work for the first time since arriving. She stares me down and responds with the quiet force of a mountain, “I’d sooner die a thousand times than see any harm come to that mare. It’s my job to make sure she can deal with anything the world throws at her. This is just a test. If she takes on any injuries, Starswirl and I are right here to patch her up. But when we’re dead and gone, she’ll only be able to rely on her own strength and wit to survive. That’s why we make these tests so treacherous.”

Starswirl chuckles and adds, “Besides, it’s not like Celestia hasn’t dealt with a dozen different gauntlets in the past. She needs this to learn how to be an Archmage.”

“Umm, but how exactly is this useful for Archmages?” I ask, like the only reasonable person here. “Is Celestia really going to be facing giant hammers in the future?”

“You never know,” Clover replies, turning back to the devices controlling Celestia’s foe. “But it’s not about the hammers. It’s about problem solving. Celestia just has to touch the flag. But with new traps, obstacles, and enchantments each time, her simple task has to be solved in different ways every time. The only rules are no teleporting and no touching the ground. Apart from that, anything goes.” Then the archmage yells up at her pupil, “Are you ready?”

Celestia nods and Clover responds by pulling multiple levers, which turns the monstrosity in front of us, turning it from from a terrifying show piece into a living beast. Blades spin like tornadoes. Guillotines drop and raise back up like the maw of a starving creature. The giant mallets thump a fast rhythm into the ground that would be pretty good for a rave if we had more ponies and I wasn’t worried about one of my few allies in this world becoming chunky salsa.

The white mare, who hasn’t said a word since getting on the starting platform, eyes the blades in front of her steadily. I assume she’s planning her timing to jump to the next safe spot. There’s only one guillotine blocking her way and she can probably make it if she’s quick. Instead, her horn lights up and the guillotine’s blade begins to flicker with the golden light of her magic which quickly fades. The Celestia shoots a beam of energy at one of the posts holding the guillotine up. It ricochets off and blasts the peak of a nearby mountain, causing enough snow to shift to trigger a small avalanche. Thankfully, we’re far enough away that it probably won’t reach us.

Celestia lets out a grunt of irritation and creates a coating of magical energy on her back hooves. I can’t help but chuckle at how they make her look like she’s wearing socks. The old stallion standing next to me misinterprets my thoughts and speaks up, “It’s not a bad strategy, you know. She actually managed to destroy the course once with that spell.” As he speaks, Celestia turns around and tries to buck the same wooden post she just blasted. Unfortunately, her magic socks shatter and she lets out a cry of pain. “But every time she completes it, Clover adds the necessary countermeasures to prevent her from using the same method twice.”

“Then why bother trying the same things again?” I ask in bewilderment.

“Celestia knows that it’s important to feel out your opponent to asses their weaknesses. She’s learned that much from my old student. But she hasn’t had to rely on much beyond her magic in life. That’s what Clover struggles to teach her, and that’s why she must continue to run The Gauntlet.” Celestia seems to relax as she takes a few deep breaths, then she forms a pale-yellow sphere around herself. “Interesting, she hasn’t tried a full body shield before. But this definitely won’t work; Clover enchanted all the weapons to repel magic like oil and-”

Starswirl doesn’t finish his sentence as Celestia jumps from inside her sphere of magic through the first guillotine. It begins to fall and strikes the shield when she’s a little over half way through and we both hold our breaths. What follows is a high-speed series of crashes and screams as Celestia barrels back and forth through The Gauntlet like it’s a pinball machine. Her shield holds, thankfully, but she doesn’t seem to have much control over where she’s going.

“I told you not to treat this like a stone wall you can blast through, Celestia!” Clover bellows, showing no indication of plans to slow down the blades. “This is what happens when you don’t think!” Celestia, to her credit, tries to respond. Sadly, all that comes out is more screaming. “Don’t give up! You got yourself into this mess, now figure out a way to use it to your advantage!”

The young unicorn quiets down even though she continues to speed up. I have no idea if it’s due to whiplash or if she’s calming down. I get my answer a few seconds later when large yellow walls materialize and angle themselves around The Gauntlet. Then they move in the path of Celestia’s shield and cause the angle of her bounces to become less unpredictable. Eventually she’s able to send herself hurtling towards the flag at the end of the course and drops her shield just in time to grab it. Sadly, she’s still moving incredibly fast, so she falls into the snow bank below. But I can’t help but let out a cheer when she floats the flag up out of the pony-shaped indentation in the snow she made before climbing out herself.

The three of us rush over to the victorious mare. Starswirl appears delighted and even Clover the Clever wears a pleased smile. “That was amazing!” I cry out. “How did you get yourself under control when you were moving that fast‽”

“It was nothing,” Celestia says with a look of embarrassment, but her heavy panting suggests otherwise.

The older ponies spend the next few minutes giving her observations and critiques, but overall, they seem happy with her performance. By the time they’re done, Clover notes that she and Celestia should get back to help set the sun and raise the moon. I’m about to ask if I can come along to watch when Starswirl hollers, “Wait! Don’t set the sun yet.”

Clover responds in a what-bullshit-is-this? kind of way, “Why should I delay the-”

“I’m supposed to bring Astraeus to stay with the earth ponies before sundown and we’re almost late!”

“What‽” Celestia and I ask simultaneously.

She continues, “Why can’t Astraeus stay with us?”

"I’d need to give a very good reason for keeping an earth pony in our tower, and I do not think saying he’s a being from another world who can see the future would go over well when ponies start asking questions. Now hang on, my colt, try focusing on your hoof to keep from getting dizzy.”

Before I can protest, the crazy old stallion slaps me on the back and I’m re-acquainted with the horrible feeling of teleportation.

“Sun's up, Astraeus! It's time to get to work!

A few expletives escape my lips as the surprise knocks me out of the firm but warm bed I was in just moments ago. I look up to see my host, an old smiling mare, looking down at me. “No time to waste. Have some breakfast so we can head out.”

The old mare trots out of the guest room I was sleeping in and I have a second to think about last night. After Celestia finished The Gauntlet, Starswirl brought me to stay with an acquaintance of his, Smart Cookie. I recognized the mare as Apple Jack’s character in the Hearth's Warming pageant episode. She introduced herself as the secretary of Chancellor Puddinghead, leader of the earth pony tribe.

When Starswirl teleported us into her living room, she had dinner ready and waiting. After we ate, the old stallion teleported away and left the two of us to clean up while Cookie quietly listened to the story of how I arrived in pre-Equestria. With the relaxing evening we had last night, I hadn’t expected her to wake me up at the crack of dawn for whatever work she had planned for me.

I trot out of my room to see my host waiting at the table with a plate of hay and flowers along with some kind of juice.

“Good morning, Cookie,” I sleepily mutter as I sit down and start eating. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“You're very welcome! Now since you're staying here, I hope you don't mind pitching in with some of the work I have to take care of.”

“Of course not,” I say as I take a swig of what I realize is carrot juice and omit how some warning about my dawn wake-up call would have been nice. “What kind of work?”

“Once I sort out some business with the Chancellor, I need to help run the seed distribution. That’s where we give everypony their share of seeds to plant once the pegasi wrap up winter. So we’ll strap a cart on you and have you bring seeds over to sheds at a few plots of land. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

After breakfast, we enter Chancellor Puddinghead’s office. The stallion looks a little older than Clover, and as his name suggests, he wears a comically large bowl of presumably pudding on his head. He doesn’t pay too much attention to me during his verbal avalanche at Smart Cookie.

“Cookie! I can’t stress this enough. WE. HAVE. THE. FOOD!!! Why should the unicorns control all the wealth?”

“I’m not saying they should, Chancellor, but when they control the mines that-”

“I don’t care about that! They need what we grow way more than those sparkly rocks and shiny metal they force us to use as currency.”

I wonder if the pudding is edible.

“But you don’t get to make up the price of food,” Cookie says with a tired sigh. “Ponies are allowed to sell-”

“I know that! But what if just one thing cost way more and we just grew a bunch of that?” the Chancellor, who might actually make pudding every morning for his own headdress, says while digging through a pile of papers on his desk.

“Are you still on about your carrot bill? You already have a few of us doing it to help you out but-”

“Look!” the stallion with the edible hat declares as he displays the paper he was looking for. I can just make out the title: The Mandatory Carrot Juice At Every Meal Law by Chancellor Puddinghead. “I finished my final draft! It’ll be put to a vote later this week!”

“There’s no way that’ll pass, sir. You can’t just cause inflation of Carrots like this!”

After about 30 more minutes of arguing, a very frustrated Smart Cookie leads me over to the tribe’s main seed barn. During the walk she kept talking about the economics of produce and the stupidity of her boss who was elected for his “out of the pudding cup” thinking.

When we arrive at the massive seed barn, which should have been described as a multi-story warehouse painted red and white to look like a barn, the old mare gets right to work and starts organizing the throng. My new acquaintance and host begins sending families on their way with giant sacks of seeds with an impressive speed for someone as old as her.

As soon as she notices a family that looks like they need help, she sends me to carry a cart with half of their seed supply. Once I’m strapped in and feeling like I can manage the heavy burden pretty well, Smart Cookie then tells the two fillies they can ride in the cart and assures their parents that I don’t mind the extra weight at all even though I’m convinced my back will fail me after a few steps. The damn little ponies, who introduce themselves as Juice and Jam, are too excited for me to tell them to hop out.

The family turns out to be really friendly; I guess free manual labor brings out that side in people ponies. All four of them pepper me with questions that I have to keep dodging. I can’t exactly tell them that the farm I live on isn’t a farm at all and is literally so far away it probably can’t be quantified with distance. So I opt for, “I’m a traveler. I’ve been away for a long time and I only recently got back.” Thankfully that satisfies them enough to move on to other questions that I have an easier time giving vague non-answers to.

After a walk that had to be at least half a dozen miles, we arrive at their farm. Surprisingly, I managed to pull the seeds and fillies without too much of a problem once we got moving. I unload the cart and get ready to head back for my next job when the mare tells me to wait right where I am. She rushes into the house and emerges a minute later with something wrapped in parchment. “Here, take this, Astraeus. It’s half an apple cake I made last night. It’s the least we can do after ya helped us out.”

The mare’s husband, Cranberry, sees me get ready to protest and adds, “Take it. You’ll regret not having one of Red Delicious’ cakes, especially since you probably didn’t get good home cooking while you were away.”

I relent and thank them for the cake. I say goodbye to the family, but the Jam takes it upon herself to invite me to stop by for dinner sometime. Cranberry is quick to echo the statement and tells me that, “It’s good to be around ponies when you’ve been away from your tribe for so long.”

I head back to the mega-barn with a warm feeling in my chest and a cake in my cart.

The day continues on like that until sundown. Even though every muscle in my body aches, chatting with so many different families really helped lift my spirits.

Helping out the earth ponies seemed to ease some of my worries about being in this children’s show world and pretending to actually be a pony. Although part of that worry was replaced with an unexpected homesickness for my own family.

My daily routine has been relatively similar these past few days. No contact from Starswirl or Celestia yet, but the former said it’d be a while before he got everything setup to send me home and honestly, I haven’t minded helping out the earth ponies.

As I head back to Smart Cookie’s house from my last job of the day, a strong gust of wind buffets my cart and me. I continue on, eager to get some sleep after my long day when I get hit with another gust of wind from above…

I look up to see a dark figure, almost like a shadow, soaring overhead. The young not-yet-princess of the night darts off in a direction away from the main hub of the earth pony territory.

I let out a sigh and change my path to follow the mare. I figure she probably didn’t blast me with air to just say ‘hi’ and then leave.

By the time I reach the spot where Luna landed, a clearing on a hill in a lightly forested area, the dark blue mare smirks at me, “So I see my sister decided to make you do hard labor, even though she claimed you were innocent.”

“This was all the old ma-er stallion and Smart Cookie.” I say between exhausted breaths. “Now why didn’t you just come down to walk with me?”

“I can’t be seen in the enemy’s territory.”

“What do you mean enemies?” This area belongs to...

“The earth ponies,” Luna replies casually. “Not you of course,” she quickly corrects, although it does nothing to settle my bristling fur. “If I’m caught, they’ll think I’m spying on them.”

“Are you?” I ask tersely.

“Well, it’s more like recon mostly, but yes. It’s natural to want to get information about your enemy,” Luna says with a slight frown. “Although, that’s not my assignment tonight.”

“Then what is? You have the night off and wanted to make sure the big bad earth ponies didn’t attack me?” I snap and Luna recoils a bit in response. I surprised myself at that. Why am I getting so defensive all of a sudden? “Sorry.” Sure the earth ponies have been nice to me these past few days, but none of this is my problem.

“No,” Luna scowls as she squares her shoulders and tries to stare me down. Since I’m a solid head taller than her and she doesn’t have a weapon pointing at me like before, it doesn’t work. “I’m trying to warn you Astraeus. I was sent to track some unruly weather last night, and it looks like we’ll be getting a strong end-of-winter blizzard this year. You don’t know what this world is like so I want to make sure you don’t take this lightly.”

“Oh. Thanks, Luna,” I mumble.

She nods. “The past few years, we’ve had some of the worst winters in my life, but this one hasn’t been too bad. This storm though… it looks like what should have been all this season’s bad weather combined. It may hit after winter wrap up and cause us to have to do it all over again.”

Oh shit! Time to pack up and move to Equestria. Although in terms of immediate starvation… “What does that mean for the crops? Seeds get planted as soon as the snow is gone.”

“Don’t worry Astraeus.” Luna says through what feels like a forced smile. “If the Commander thinks it’ll be bad, he’ll issue a weather warning before wrap up starts.”

The two of us sit in silence for a while, peacefully watching the night sky. Then the someday Lunar Princess mutters, “I won’t apologize for not believing your story without Celestia’s verification, but I shouldn’t have acted so coldly towards you.”

Slightly dumbstruck, I don’t know what else to say other than, “Thanks, Luna.”

We settle back into our nice calm. That is until my companion begins rifling through her saddlebags to pull out a notebook, writing quill, and, “A telescope?”

Luna nods as she sets it up on a wooden tripod, not breaking the silence. She starts a repetitive process of looking through the brass telescope, flipping through pages in her journal, and marking down some scribbles. It’s almost hypnotic watching the dark blue mare get lost in her work like this.

“Astraeus.” I’m pulled out of my revere when she speaks up. “Do humans watch the stars where you’re from?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “I actually wanted to take an astronomy course myself. On Earth, we have some telescopes the size of large buildings, and-”

“Really?” the pegasus asks with awe. Her eyes now locked on me instead of her instrument.

I spend at least the better part of an hour telling Luna about Earth, and at her urging, focusing on everything from observatories to horoscopes as she continues tracking the night sky. It should have been obvious that this topic would be what finally gets the moon mare talking, even if it’s just to ask me more about various star related human things.

“So how do these planetariums display the stars indoors without magic?”

“I really don’t want to get into how projectors work,” I say with a slight groan. It’s hard enough to avoid talking about electricity. I do not want to accidentally launch these ponies into a medieval industrial revolution when I leave. “But it’s not actually looking at the stars directly. That’s why it works during the day or when the clouds are out.”

“I wonder if that could ever be accomplished here,” Luna says longingly.

“Why don’t you ask your sister? Isn’t she powerful enough to magic you up an indoor star light show?” I realize my companion is being oddly quiet. “Luna?”

“Sorry, just realized I lost track of time. I need to report to my CO as soon as possible.”

I try to get a word out, but Luna’s packing skills outpace my ability to form words. The next thing I know, she’s flying off, camouflaged by the night sky.